People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.