As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.