As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.

I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris.' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.' Mind you, at least the Eurostar's comfy. It's murder on the Orient Express isn't it?

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.

I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.

Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.