The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.

He [Bill Clinton] told me that he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, becasue he was a caddie.

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

In golf, driving is a game of free-swinging muscle control, while putting is something like performing eye surgery and using a bread knife for a scalpel.

Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?