Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

white criminals commit the biggest crimes.a brother might rob a bank. a white man will rob a pension fund. the brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. the white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.

It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.