Being gay is harder than being black. I didn't have to come out black. I didn't have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.

I watched a lot of comedy growing up.