What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.