The person who knows everything has the most to learn.
Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.
He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.
If you want your wife to listen to you, talk to another woman.
The best way to keep your daughter out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.
It is always dullest before the yawn.
Love has been described as a three-ring circus: First comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and after that the suffering.