Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.

Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.

Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf