Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.