Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.

One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.