David Cross Quotes

As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a guy doing comedy.

If people disagree with me and want to articulate it, that's not only their right but almost their obligation.

If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.

Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.

I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.

I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.

I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.

I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.

My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.

I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.

That's what social media is, that's what Twitter is, that's what Facebook posts are. It's just really anti-intellectual.

I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.