J. B. Smoove Quotes

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience.

As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.

Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

A lot of comedians are selfish.

At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.

I was the hallway clown in high school.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he's still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius.

I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.

You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.