Sandra Bernhard Quotes

I was looking for something within Judaism that had a spiritual nature and not just a religious nature. So my trainer at the time was the one who took me to the Kabbalah center on my 40th birthday. I was like, "Oh, this is so cool." I was just ready for it. I was ready for something different.

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

I feel like you've gotta be able to get up every night in front of a live audience. Whether it's 10 people or 50 people or a hundred people, whether you're in a rock band or doing the comedy circuit.

I would never wanna do a show that's strictly maudlin and invaded my personal life and my home. I would never do that.

Gay pride's beautiful. If somebody needs to be expressing that, then it's a positive thing.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

I think bravery is when you're willing to really put yourself on the line and maybe lose out, financially - and be able to say exactly what motivates you and what inspires you and what you find completely unacceptable in humanity and in culture.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

You reach a certain point in your 30s when you say things in a much safer way.

Random things make me laugh.

I've always gotten myself overly involved in supporting other women who've not always been as supportive in return.

I think people are a little bit intimidated by me. You know, I'm not exactly a wilting flower, so I think they're a little bit scared of me sometimes.

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.

I am still comfortable with my body, because I'm like, What's not to be comfortable with? I mean, it's just my nature.

Be who you are and I'll be who I am. I refuse to take sides, because everybody has their story.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

Maybe I'd be in a different place in my career if I'd had that 10-year plan, a lot of people went at it with this voracity that I never had. My only voracity was to have fun and to be in the mix.

If you want to dig, if you want to pry, do it on your time, but I'm going to be a woman of dignity.

It's up to couples, to individuals, to have a trust between each other.

At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.

When you have a knowledge of history, it's very soothing. When there's continuity in your life, it's soothing.

There will come a day when Anne Heche will be straight again.

I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.

I really thought I wanted to be a musical-comedy star, but I lived in Phoenix and didn't want to go all the way to New York and be that far away from home. So I thought maybe I'd be a rock 'n' roll singer or an opera singer.

Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.

I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.

I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

Lots of people think that bisexual means cowardly lesbian.

I like the energy of live performance.

When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

Not everybody is cookie-cutter. You just can't be. There are too many variables in life.

I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.

I don't think somebody can just, like, wave a magic wand and make you a star.

Hip doesn't really come into play anymore as far as I can tell.

I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.

They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.

You don't need to be famous to live a life as an artist.

I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position.

Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

I'm somebody who can absorb a lot.

I don't need to be redundant to the gay community about what's wrong and what isn't happening for them.

People feel like if they don't have a voice or a name or the spotlight, then they're invisible. But if you can't wake up in your world, in your life, with your family and your friends, and enjoy it, then forget it. All bets are off, because that's all anybody is guaranteed.