Sandra Bernhard Quotes

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

I'm sure that Jesus was an incredible person.

The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?

I'm a sexual person. A lot of different people turn me on and have over the years, and I've always wanted to make it very clear that this was not coming from some sort of antimale point of view.

The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

I am always hoping to do another CD. This atmosphere has been difficult.

I've always allowed myself to go on journeys creatively and emotionally, and never put, like, limits on myself.

I think Bush is amateurish and self-serving, and frankly, it's disgusting.

It's nobody's business how you do something.

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

In the late '60s and '70s, when feminism was on the up sweep, there was an awareness of things that we're losing again.

It's depressing sitting at a comedy club all night, waiting to get on to do your five or ten minutes of material.

For most of my relationships, I would have liaisons, and I would feel guilty.

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.

I think so much of what informs us as performers is what we had to endure as kids growing up. I was the youngest in my family. I always got a lot of attention.

I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.

From the time I was a kid, I'd never joined groups. I hated high school groups. I hung out with hippies, musical people. I hung out with whomever I found compelling and interesting and smart. And I continued to do that throughout my life.

I certainly wish Gov. Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views...and then go back to Alaska.

I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.

Madonnas got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.

There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

New York has always been a sense of eclectic kind of freedom and expression on a lot of different levels.

Growing up in the '60s and the '70s, things certainly seemed more simplistic and easier to digest.

I don't like going back and listening to myself. It makes me uncomfortable, and I know I can never emulate what I did that night, so why listen to it?

I don't believe in karma.

I've always loved being at the eye of the storm creatively with people that I find exciting and glamorous. So sometimes I got sidetracked in my career and maybe I would have done more TV or film.

You have to take the basics of feminism and the kind of outline of it and do what you do with it. You have to make things work for your own life.

At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.

Barbara Bush has her finger on the pulse of America. Im so glad shes back and more compassionate than ever, ... Thats right, of course people just sat around New Orleans, boring, uninspired, soulless New Orleans, and dreamed of someday relocating to the Astrodome. Oh, dear Lord, if only I could leave my unhappy existence and head on up to wonderful Houston and live with my friends side by side in a spacious football stadium, my life would be so much richer and complete.

People want to be famous, they want to be loved, they want to be accepted. They want to push aside their past and the things that have been embarrassing to them.

I didn't belong when I was in high school. Now people are trying to buy lips.

You can't just try to be a performer. It's in your DNA. I really believe that it's either what you are or it's not at all.

I was really going through a transition in my life. I was tired of feeling victimized by my career.

I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.

There's this whole sense of judgment and who's right and who's wrong and who's moral and who's going to be punished.

I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

I love performing. I love being a provocateur. I love putting myself in situations that are uncomfortable and that I have to get out of.

The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.

When you're collaborating with somebody who's got a lot of stuff they haven't worked out yet, you're working out their vision as well.

If I've learned anything in my 30s, it's about holding back a little bit.

As a kid, I loved being loved, and still do. Who doesn't love being loved?