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There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
Salvador DaliThis sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.
Patton OswaltI can't cook, at all. I would not know how to make coffee. I took cooking classes, so I know how to make chocolate soufflรฉ, but ask me if I want to make soufflรฉ. I let somebody else make the chocolate soufflรฉ, and I eat it. I found that, when I took cooking classes and tried to cook, I didn't want to eat it. The joy was gone. I was always filthy with the stuff, and then had to clean it up. I don't like that.
Barbra StreisandWith more and more fast food available, it takes an extra effort to cook delicious, healthy meals. I have always been a proponent of simple, easy food that doesn't take forever to cook so you really can eat well at home.
Ina GartenPeople who hardly ever cook at all, suddenly at the holidays, feel like it's their responsibility to not only cook dinner for large groups of people suddenly, but to serve things that are fussy or fancy or formal. And I don't think that's what anybody really wants, especially if you're not good at it.
Ted AllenIf you learn a recipe, you can cook the recipe. If you learn the technique, you can cook anything.
Michael SymonI write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.
Garrison KeillorA home cook who relies too much on a recipe is sort of like a pilot who reads the plane's instruction manual while flying.
Alton BrownChefs who cook in these ivory towers are in control in their own world. We try to approximate that world as best we can, but ultimately our goal is to please our clients.
David CastleMargarita was never short of money. She could buy whatever she liked. Her husband had plenty of interesting friends. Margarita never had to cook. Margarita knew nothing of the horrors of living in a shared flat. In short... was she happy? Not for a moment.
Mikhail BulgakovI mean the world is a place where it feels like a woman has to go out everywhere in society, you have to buy her and cook her a meal and stuff.
Kool KeithMaybe the memory does play tricks. Increasingly, I'm thinking, 'What was their name? I knew that name yesterday.' I think that's what happens. At some point, I'll forget that I ever worked with Peter Cook, I suppose, and Alan Bennett and Jonathan Miller.
Dudley MooreIt is not consistent with truth that a man should sacrifice half of his stomach only to God-that he should be sober in drinking, but intemperate in eating. Your belly is your God, your liver is your temple, your paunch is your altar, the cook is your priest, and the fat steam is your Holy Spirit; the seasonings and the sauces are your chrisms, and your belchings are your prophesizing...[such] a grossly- feeding Christian is akin to lions and wolves rather than God. Our Lord Jesus called Himself Truth and not habit.
TertullianEvery kid in every school no matter their background, deserves to learn the basics about food - where it comes from, how to cook it and how it affects their bodies. These life skills are as important as reading and writing, but they've been lost over the past few generations. We need to bring them back and bring up our kids to be streetwise about food.
Jamie OliverI'm into eating as little as possible... I never cook. Never use the stove or anything.
Noam ChomskyIn a crisis, my family puts aside all its petty differences and hatreds... Because a crisis, is a perfect opportunity to create *new* petty differences and hatreds! My dad's from that era when you lived to 50, your heart exploded and that was that. You know when you cook bacon and you pour the grease into the can? My dad's the can!
Christopher TitusSomeone with a figure like Jennifer Aniston has a trainer, a cook spinning out some version of the latest diet, and probably a stop at the tanning salon.
Amanda PeetI want to design for the working women. Okay well - it sounds like 90% of us are that. But really, we are more. We are working women who like to cook, to travel; we are a girlfriend, a writer. We are so much more than just being defined by the one job we have.
Sarah Lafleura woman's place is in the kitchen...sitting in a comfortable chair, with her feet up, drinking a glass of wine and watching her husband cook dinner.
Elizabeth GilbertIn the hands of an able cook, fish can become an inexhaustible source of perpetual delight.
Jean Anthelme Brillat-SavarinLearn how to cook a (effing) omelet. I mean, what nicer thing can you do for somebody than make them breakfast? You look good doing it, and it's a nice thing to do for somebody you just had sex with.
Anthony BourdainAll our science is just a cookery book, with an orthodox theory of cooking that nobody's allowed to question, and a list of recipes that mustn't be added to except by special permission from the head cook.
Aldous HuxleyFor years - especially in England where I come from - cooking was a subservient job. When I told my Dad I was going to be a cook, he wouldn't talk to me for two years. Even though it was associated with my military service, he thought cooking was beneath me.
Robert IrvineTomorrow's a hunting day," I say. "I won't be much of a help with that," Peeta says. "I've never hunted before." "I'll kill and you cook," I say. "And you can always gather." "I wish there was some sort of bread bush out there," says Peeta.
Suzanne CollinsMy wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney DangerfieldIt is rare, with people who are on television or celebrities or actors - it's rare to go to their house for a party and find they cooked. That's rare. Usually people don't cook for their own parties, and they don't buy their own gifts. There are people that do that, and that is a special thing. Those kind of little human touches are nice.
Andy RichterWhen you're cooking with food as alive as this -- these gorgeous and semigorgeous fruits and leaves and flesh -- you're in no danger of mistaking it for a commodity, or a fuel, or a collection of chemical nutrients. No, in the eye of the cook or the gardener ... this food reveals itself for what it is: no mere thing but a web of relationships among a great many living beings, some of them human, some not, but each of them dependent on each other, and all of them ultimately rooted in soil and nourished by sunlight.
Michael PollanNo mean woman can cook well. It calls for a generous spirit, a light hand, and a large heart.
Eden PhillpottsWhen you become a good cook, you become a good craftsman, first. You repeat and repeat and repeat until your hands know how to move without thinking about it.
Jacques PepinMy tastes in what I eat at home would be very familiar to most people who cook for families. I just organize those things a little bit differently.
Anthony BourdainOn a Tuesday night they were wed, And by Friday they were dead. And they buried them in the churchyard side by side, Oh my love, And they buried them in the churchyard side by side." Breaking away from Gideon with some reluctance, Sophie rose to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Please forgive me, my dear Mr. Lightwood- I mean Gideon- but I must go and murder the cook. I shall be directly back.
Cassandra ClareI always think if you have to cook once, it should feed you twice. If you're going to make a big chicken and vegetable soup for lunch on Monday, you stick it in the refrigerator and it's also for Wednesday's dinner.
Curtis StoneI'll tell you something about tough things. They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you'll find the way through. On the Food Network they have these shows where cooks have to put a meal together with all these weird ingredients. That's a lot like my life-dealing with things you wouldn't think ever go together. But a good cook can make the best meal out of the craziest combinations.
Joan BauerMy mum and dad used to make me stand up at dinner parties and sing to their friends. I had this conservatory in my house - three steps went to up to kind of a raised part of our kitchen. I used it as the stage. Every night after school I used to download backing tracks of songs I loved and perform to myself. My mum was trying to cook and I was pretending I was at the O2 arena.
Sam SmithI'd rather hop freights around the country and cook my food out of tin cans over wood fires, than be rich and have a home or work.
Jack Kerouac'I love to cook. Very healthy eating. ...' Twain also forgoes meat, dairy, and eggs. 'Nothing,' she declares, 'that had to die.'
Shania TwainMy mother was a good recreational cook, but what she basically believed about cooking was that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.
Nora EphronFear and the thought of failure . . . But we don't really know what fear is. Fear is something that we create in our own minds. Fear could be like fire. You can use it to heat you up, keep you warm, cook your food. There are so many things you can use it for. But if you allow it to go out of control, it will destroy you and everything around you.
Mike Tyson