Aisha Tyler Quotes

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

TV always wants more people to be watching.

You can only really learn from failure ... To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.

I really do know football.

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

Successful people just don't let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I'd have people come up to me after my shows, and they'd say they want to do stand-up but are scared they're going to fail. I'd tell them, "You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures."

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

Marriage isn't a carnival ride.

I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.

No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it. So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.

I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I'd still have plenty of other things to do.

I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like, "Trust me, you don't want to have to actually interact with these people."

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

I think diversity in television is important. It's not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity, but I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.

Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'm super-grateful.

Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.

I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.

I'm just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can. I've just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.

I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.

I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they're already dead and they can't feel it. They don't have feelings.