Keep Your Cool: 15 Techniques for Staying Calm in Any Confrontation

This will help you get through the confrontation without hurting others or losing control of your behavior

Keep Your Cool: 15 Techniques for Staying Calm in Any Confrontation

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Conflict is inevitable in everyone's life. Some people hate confrontations, others are being defined as a bad-tempered. The truth is that arguments are not pleasant for anyone.

Now we will offer you some easy tested techniques to keep your composure in such conflict situations. This way you will be able to get through the confrontation more easily without hurting others or losing control of your behavior.

And because it makes a difference whether you are arguing with a loved one or a stranger, we will divide the techniques into three categories to make them as effective as possible.

Universal techniques to keep calm in conflict

Breathe deeply. It's no coincidence that you see this advice regularly when it comes to keeping your cool and dealing with unpleasant situations. Slow, measured and deep breathing can do wonders for behavior.

Count to 5. This is another universal technique you must try, especially if you have anger issues. If the situation allows, count to 10 or even more. This will help you to step back from the problem at least for a little while and so you can see it soberly.

Focus on your voice - is it shaky, are you raising your voice, shouting, going into hysterics, or rather managing to keep your tone kind and even? Always monitor your voice during an argument, this will help you avoid escalating.

Forget about aggression. Forget it in your life in general, not just confrontations. Aggression, both verbal and on a physical level, never leads to anything constructive. Aggression should have no place in your life.

Is it possible that you are mistaken? Sometimes it is possible to be wrong. And there is nothing scary or shameful about that. Especially if you are able to see it, admit it and apologize for the confusion. It happens to everyone, but not everyone knows how to apologize.

Listen to your opponent's words. Sometimes the person we are arguing with is trying to tell us something. But we refuse to hear them because we are absorbed in previous instances where they had offended us or we think we know better what they mean. Try to stop for a moment and listen to what they are saying to you. You might surprise yourself.

Accept disagreement. We don't all have to agree all the time. Learn to appreciate other people's opinions and not impose your own. Let people have their own position and learn to value it.

Techniques to keep calm in a conflict with a loved one

When arguing with someone close to us and whom we love, the techniques listed may not be enough. That's why we offer you a few more to keep your composure and avoid hurting and offending each other.

Show kindness. Just because you have a disagreement doesn't mean you don't love each other, right? Try to remind yourself of that, even if you're feeling anger at the moment. It is extremely valuable to be able to show kindness, even when it is difficult.

Consider a compromise. Not every situation allows it, but it doesn't hurt to check how things stand for the particular dispute. Would it hurt yourself if you compromised on something that is important to the person you love? Try asking yourself that question during the conflict and listen to the answer. It is deep inside you.

Say “I” instead of “You”. This technique works wonders. And it's easy. Just replace every "you" in your sentences with "I." Here's an example: instead of saying "You just don't understand me", try "I just feel misunderstood". That way you'll avoid the accusations, while giving your opponent a chance to think about your feelings.

Avoid accusations. Following the above strategy, put all your efforts into not blaming the person you love. Whatever has happened, whatever you are arguing about, accusations will not help you understand each other. Learn to argue without looking for blame. Your life will be better and easier.

Techniques to keep calm in conflict with a stranger

Arguments with strangers are less common, but many don't know how to handle them. So, in addition to the universal tips, we add a few more techniques to keep calm when in confrontation with strangers.

Show respect. Having a disagreement with someone shouldn't change you as a person. Never forget to show respect, courtesy and politeness to your opponent. The opposite will rather undermine your arguments and present you in a not very pleasant light. Besides, by keeping your manners, you will also manage to keep your cool.

Suggest a solution. Usually when people argue, they only see their own point of view - as if there are only two sides to the situation - mine and yours. And often there is a third, fourth and fifth. Try to control your anger and look for an alternative solution to the conflict.

Seek help from a third party. If you see that you are unable to cope with the confrontation, seek support from someone objective and independent. He or she may be able to give you a solution or at least help end the conflict.

Remove yourself from the situation. Arguments with strangers actually make absolutely no difference to the quality of our lives. Remind yourself of this and distance yourself from the situation - emotionally and physically. Just walk away from the confrontation. You don't need to continue an argument with someone you'll never see again.

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