Carol Burnett Quotes

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie - the networks just wouldn't spend the money today.

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.

I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.

The audience is never wrong.

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.