Bill Hicks Quotes

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.

Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.

In Australia...they celebrate Easter the same...by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit...left chocolate eggs in the night

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?

So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.