Shaquille O'Neal Quotes

Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.

I love the Miami atmosphere.

Being here feels like I'm out of prison. This is the right place, the right time, the right team.

If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's going to happen. He's a Corvette. I'm a brick wall.

Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.'

We're just going to come out and play. We know that we're supposed to win all the games, but if we don't, we just have to take the next game and focus on what we did wrong in the game before and just try to do better at the next game.

I do what I do. Always.

The only person who can really motivate you is you.

If you go 72-11 and don't win (the championship), it doesn't mean anything. Actually it does. It means you've cheated and played an extra regular-season game.

Do we play Chicago again? I going to hit Othella Harrington right in the mouth. If he didn't have his clumsy ass on the floor, I wouldn't have fell. How he got on the ground, I don't know. He's clumsy. Quote me on that. I'm going to get him.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

I'll hit them when it matters.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don't finish the date - you know what I mean?

It matters in a fatherly way.

I think it was 89.2% cheers and 11.8% boos, but I'm used to that.

I would love an extension, who wouldn't? If they offer me a $35 million-a-year extension, I'll sign it right now. I won't even read the contract. I'm just here to take care of business and I know can help give the city what it's looking for.

Stay out of the gentlemen's clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.

I told my wife when I was rolling up, I felt like the president.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I'm holding my spot. There probably won't be another Shogun after this.

I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn't want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

I'm a combination of the Terminator and Bambi.

Everything is done out of respect, whether it's a cheer or a boo.

They asked me when I was out there, 'Why do you want to be traded?' I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That's backwards, man.

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.

It means I don't have to charter that big jet for the family.

He's just intelligent-sort of a nerd, actually. He's the only brother I know who made a 1420 on the SAT. I don't think Chris Dudley did that, and Mr. Smarty Pants went to Yale. Kobe doesn't hang out. He doesn't go to the clubs. He doesn't ride around. He doesn't put rims on his car. He's just him. He's a sophisticated kid. Damn mature for his age.

It gets bigger every time you go over. In China, there was Yao Ming stuff everywhere. I'm just fortunate to have a good-looking face to where they recognize me.

I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games.

It's his show and I'm just trying to make him look good. If we were the same age there might be a little tension, but I'm on my way out... I am here to serve your every need, King James.

Every team that plays us plays above their heads. That's because of me.

Stats don't matter. I care about winning, not stats. If I score 0 points and we win I'm happy. If I score 50, 60 points, break the records, and we lose, I'm pissed off. 'Cause I knew I did something wrong. I'll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.

And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business.

I'm the master marketer.

The problem with kids these days is they don't have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.

It's a different role for me, playing with the great Dwyane Wade.

I would like to be referred to as 'The Big Aristotle'.

Now, if you're an NBA fan, you know what Vince Carter did. I came up with a line about him: 'Half-man, half-amazing.'

One lucky shot deserves another.

Somebody asked me about this the other day. A young Shaq and a young Penny, the young Shaq's going to take over. A medium Shaq and a young Kobe, the medium Shaq is going to take over. Now you've got an older Shaq and a young Dwyane; you step aside, you let him do his thing and you just do what's asked of you.

I'm a very quotatious person.

Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich.

I've been an athlete that's sort of in advance; always thinking. After basketball I'd love to have my own radio show, my own TV show.

I wouldn't. I would just go home. I'd fake an injury or something.

Shaquille O'Neal has always been one to speak the truth.

Incense. Books. Just weird.

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.