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Morning: Slept. Afternoon: Slept. Evening: Ate grass. Night: Ate grass. Decided grass is boring. Scratched. Hard to reach the itchy bits. Slept.
Jackie FrenchOne of my most memorable Thanksgiving memories was probably the first year that me and my two brothers decided to start our annual eating contest. We ate throughout the whole day. We started that morning and weighed ourselves, and at the very end of the night, we weighed ourselves out. And all three of us equally gained five pounds.
Charles KelleySo Uncle Stuart is marrying that lady? Mom says she's going to be our aunt Amy. She's okay except she would't try any peanut butter M&M chocolate chip fudge cookies. They were good- you ate five, remember? But she said she was on a special diet, and couldn't eat something called carbs. We told her we didn't put any carbs in our cookies, just M&Ms, but she said M&Ms were carbs. Uncle Mitch, what's carbs? Email to Uncle Mitch from Haily and Brittany.
Meg CabotMy childhood was full of deep sorrows - colic, whooping-cough, dread of ghosts, hell, Satan, and a Deity in the sky who was angry when I ate too much plumcake.
George EliotIt's not difficult for me to stay healthy. I like healthy food. It's also become a lifestyle for me and I need a certain fitness level to be able to travel and have good skin and nails. If I ate worse then it would be difficult for me to keep up and it also wouldn't be so good for my looks either.
Heidi KlumIn the two months I had also dated Justin Fellowes, this guy in my Spanish class, though after three weeks we decided we should "see other people," which in my case was a joke, but it beat hearing him remark on everything I ate. 'I don't know why girls are always on a diet,' he'd say when I ordered a Diet Coke, and 'You should watch your starch intake' when I had a muffin.
Deb CalettiIntellectually, human beings and animals may be different, but it's pretty obvious that animals have a rich emotional life and that they feel joy and pain. It's easy to forget the connection between a hamburger and the cow it came from. But I forced myself to acknowledge the fact that every time I ate a hamburger, a cow had ceased to breathe
MobyA census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Anthony HopkinsI ate her cooking for eighteen years," he whispered. "You get used to it." "Oh yeah, when?" "I think it happened around the seventeenth year," Henry said.
Michael BuckleyI believe so strongly in what I do and I practice what I preach! My Dad died at fifty - do I have to die at fifty? My Dad ate all the junk food, he wouldn't exercise - how can you tell your Dad anything? We know about nutrition and we know about exercise. There's no reason for anybody to be sick and tired, fat and out of shape - it's ridiculous!
Jack LaLanneA panda walks into a tea room and ordered a salad and ate it. Then it pulled out a pistol, shot the man in the next table dead, and walked out. Everyone rushed after it, shouting "Stop! Stop! Why did you do that?" "Becuase I am a panda," said the panda. "That's what pandas do. If you don't believe me, look in the dictionary." So they looked in the dictionary and sure enough they found Panda: Racoon-like animal of Asia. Eats shoots and leaves.
Ursula K. Le GuinAt least, you two have decent manners," says Effie as we're finishing the main course. "The pair last year ate everything with their hands like a couple of savages. It completely upset my digestion." ... My mother taught Prim and me to eat properly, so yes, I can handle a fork and knife. But I hate Effie Trinket's comment so much I make a point of eating the rest of my meal with my fingers. Then I wipe my hands on the tablecloth. This makes her purse her lips tightly together.
Suzanne CollinsLife was so much simpler in pre-video days when everyone refused invitations because the 'Forsyte Saga' was on. Now we all just have a long list of unwatched shows, all of which, it seems, our friends are raving about. I feel as outdated as if I wore a Fair Isle sweater, ate Pot Noodle and had a two-bar electric fire in the sitting room.
Simon HoggartLook, Mrs. McGillicuddy, it's not my fault your son jumped out a dorm room window on Christmas eve. I've written over fifty books as a Columbia professor, all right? You don't do that by holding hands with every at-risk undergraduate who says he's homesick, or he's turning gay, or the dog ate his term paper. I write about Lincoln, and freedom, and great ideas. I don't always have time for students. It's like Dean Martin used to say: if you want to talk, go to a priest. Hey -- what's the gun for?
Eric FonerI ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen.
Jean WebsterWhen [Len Wiseman and I] first met, I was a huge fan of the 'Alien' movies. I was a huge 'Die Hard' fan until it ate my husband for two years. We sit and watch movies all the time. One of my favorite movies is 'Dog's Day Afternoon.' Len loves that movie.
Kate BeckinsaleBecause of my Asian-ness, I couldn't be anonymous - what I said, what I ate, what I did at the weekend were startlingly different to what everyone else did. I was also a performer, quick and chameleon-like, good at accents, so that made me stand out.
Sanjeev BhaskarYou set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
Libba BrayHe ate a pear. It was a hard one. It fought back against his grinding teeth. It snapped in juicy protest.
Kurt VonnegutI never really liked meat. I was a child that had to be forced to eat my meat. Whatever you ate before that you loved like turkey slices they've got a substitute now that's not hard to find.
Masta KillaAnd so, Thanksgiving. Its the most amazing holiday. Just think about it โ it's a miracle that once a year so many millions of Americans sit down to exactly the same meal as one another, exactly the same meal they grew up eating, and exactly the same meal they ate a year earlier. The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we all can agree so vehemently about? I don't think so.
Nora EphronThe Mongols consumed a steady diet of meat, milk, yogurt, and other dairy products, and they fought men who lived on gruel made from various grains. The grain diet of the peasant warriors stunted their bones, rotted their teeth, and left them weak and prone to disease. In contrast, the poorest Mongol soldier ate mostly protein, thereby giving him strong teeth and bones.
Jack WeatherfordEven though Eve ate the fruit first, God went looking for Adam. It had been Adam whom God had revealed himself to as LORD God in the context of giving Adam divine instruction.
Tony EvansWhen I was 17, I worked at a bagel shop - I ate so many! I was also in all the school musicals, which we rehearsed for during the afternoons.
Jenna UshkowitzI know my husband really loves me because he takes me to have ribs. He says I'm the only girl he ever took out who actually ate anything on her plate, as opposed to pushing it around.
Julia BarrFiction can show you a different world. It can take you somewhere youโve never been. Once youโve visited other worlds, like those who ate fairy fruit, you can never be entirely content with the world that you grew up in. Discontent is a good thing: discontented people can modify and improve their worlds, leave them better, leave them different.
Neil GaimanThe food we ate was Indian, and both my mother and father were very deep into the ancient philosophy of India, so it could well have been an Indian household.
Amar BoseEve hugged her, hard. โItโs beautiful,โ she said. โWhat happened to the old frosting?โ Shane, sitting at the table, raised his hand. โTook one for the team.โ โJesus, you ate it? All of it?โ โNah.โ He held up the bowl that was sitting in front of him. There was still about half a cup left. โCouldnโt finish it all.โ Eve blinked and looked at Claire, who shrugged and said, โI always thought he was sweet.
Rachel CaineReading was like an addiction; I read while I ate, on the train, in bed until late at night, in school, where I'd keep the book hidden so I could read during class. Before long I bought a small stereo and spent all my time in my room, listening to jazz records. But I had almost no desire to talk to anyone about the experience I gained through books and music. I felt happy just being me and no one else. In that sense I could be called a stack-up loner.
Haruki MurakamiIf we were to go back in time 100 years and ask a farmer what he'd like if he could have anything, he'd probably say he wanted a horse that was twice as strong and ate half as many oats. He would not say he wanted a tractor. The point is, technology changes things so fast that many people aren't sure what the best solutions to their problems might be.
Philip QuigleyOn Valentine's Day, the Spirit Club plastered the school with red streamersand pink balloons and red and pink hearts. It looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog ate a flock of flamigoes and then barfed his guts up.
Carolyn MacklerI find it almost comforting to count calories, because it makes me conscious of what I'm eating. But on Super Bowl Sunday, I thought, 'Surrender to it. It's nacho time.' Then I ate nothing but Doritos all day.
Kristen BellI think people who traditionally ate haggis wouldn't eat the good cuts, 'cause they'd sell the good cuts to make their money, so they get left with all the crap.
Scott HutchisonGlobal warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
Stephen ColbertI knew if I ate anything of hers again, it would lkely tell me the same message: help me, I am not happy, help me -- like a message in a bottle sent in each meal to the eater, and I got it. I got the message.
Aimee BenderA cold blast hit him and he laughed at the sting as he stepped outside, surveyed the night sky, and drank deeply. Such a good liar he was. Such a good one. Everyone thought he was fine because he'd camo'd his little problems. He wore a Sox hat to hide the eye twitch. Set his wristwatch to go off every half hour to beat back the dream. Ate though he wasn't angry. Laughed though he found nothing funny. And he'd always smoked like a chimney.
J.R. WardThe Jews were destroying both Greeks and Romans. They ate the flesh of their victims, made belts for themselves out of their entrails, and daubed themselves with their blood... In all, 220,000 men perished in Cyrene and 240,000 in Cyprus, and for this reason no Jew may set foot in Cyprus today.
Cassius DioFor years, I ate the same foods every day, in exactly the same manner, at exactly the same times.
Caroline KnappMy family, theyre story tellers. My mom is Irish, and my dad is Italian. In my family, we werent allowed to watch TV while we ate - we had to sit around the table and tell stories about our day.
Meg CabotKilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were making champagne.
Kurt VonnegutAt the last minute, I couldn't wear the Hitler mustache because Tiger Stripe ate it; and then I didn't want to take my kitty and risk his coughing up some big Nazi hairball on someone's front stoop.
Chuck PalahniukBack in the 1970s, I ate a high-protein diet to get bigger and stronger. As a senior at Utah State, I weighed 218 pounds with eight percent body fat, and threw the discus over 190 feet. Then I got some advice from the people at the Olympic Training Center. I needed carbs, they advised, and lots of them. They pointed to studies done on the American distance runners. Being an idiot, I took the advice to eat like emaciated, over-trained sub-performers. It took years of high carbohydrate grazing to learn the evils of this advice.
Dan John