Dave Chappelle Quotes

I'm happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn't make things easier, but I'm so much better at handling them.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something. But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.

Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.

With younger people I'm recognized with always Half-Baked, Blue Streak because it's on cable. Women, it's always You've Got Mail. Nutty Professor is pretty much everybody across the board. It seems like they like that one.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.

The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.

I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it's a pretty good lifestyle.

My generation is under-entertained.

You get sick of jokes, you know. Either I do them on TV, and then you worry, like, "Oh, everyone's gonna see it," so you chuck it, or you just get sick of saying it. After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.