Jim Carrey Quotes

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin' wealthy.

I'd like to thank my mother, my father, the Academy. I'm sorry. I was thinking of something else.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat?

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

I spent most of my time in my room staring at a mirror. I never knew I was supposed to socialize. I just spent hours making faces at myself, having a good time.

Maybe other people will try to limit me but I don't limit myself.

The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!

But I refuse to believe that I am a better actor than myself.

Everything can be made fun of. The most serious things are ripe for making fun of them.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Like many of you, I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself. Until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself.

If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Movies find me, and I kind of just allow them to find me.

Every character is a baby. You can't choose between them. If you can, you didn't do your job. You have to fall in love with every character.

Usually you regret the things you say no to.

What’s yours? How will you serve the world? What do they need that your talent can provide? That’s all you have to figure out.

You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world....you will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.

I'm talkin' about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin' about Aspen.

The early bird gathers no moss! The rolling stone catches the worm.

The exit from agony is always there. The tunnel out of the agony sector is always in front of you and yet you don't take it. You don't take it by choice. You want to indulge a lot and be in pain. The easiest way out is to write a list of what you're grateful for. If everybody literally did that before they went to bed at night, there'd be no unhappy people.

I enjoy fame except when I'm with my daughter. Kids stop me all the time and I don't want her to be jealous of the attention. Also, sometimes I just want to be left alone and I refuse to make rubber faces. That's when they start asking, What's the matter, man, don't you like your job? I say, Yeah, I like my job. But I also like having sex, and I'm not going to do that in front of you either.

There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that's going to eat you.

I do whatever [comedies] I'm attracted to. It's like the woman who stands out in the crowd, who for some reason you notice, that's the one you're supposed to dance with at that time in your life. That's just what it is with scripts... they find you when you're emotionally in the right place to do them.

I have no limits! I cannot be contained because I'm the container.

My spiritual journey has been a good kind of thing I've been on. I guess some people would say I'm obsessed with it, but in a really good way. It's just enjoyable. I don't really have crazy obsessions about things.

Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.

I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course.

I really have always thought of myself as somebody who lives in the middle of the wheel and is able to go to the extreme, to the outside of the wheel in any direction. The best case scenario for me is to be able to be centered and then go out.

In retrospect it always seems to work out that you can look back on something that was a disaster and find some gems in there.

Originality is really important.

I wanted to be a veterinarian for about a week of my life when I was a kid. But I found out about the whole euthanasia thing and I said, I can't commit to that, sorry!

Movie offers are out there for me, I just don't hear them yet.

When I started to realise how important the film was to people I thought there is a lot of negative stuff going on in the world, maybe they need these two people

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.

I'm not always looking for the laugh. I'm not the guy who sits in and listens to conversations and wants to jump in with something hilarious every two seconds. I actually do listen to people.

Isn't it cool when the days that are supposed to feel good, actually do?

I've always believed that you can funnel good things toward yourself by thinking positiviely.

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me!

The highs and lows of show business is a rollercoaster for sure. There's so many highs, there's just moments of your life where you go, "Wow I can't believe how insanely lucky I am," and then you can turn around and the next moment feel so completely caught up in your own wanting, and desiring, and needing and feel like somehow you're missing something. It's just higher the high, the lower the low.

I just may laugh at different things than most people. I laugh at mistakes. I laugh at how you recover from mistakes. I see when people go off their material and it's actually happening in front of you and that kind of stuff excites me.

I like to enjoy life, I like to engage in life, so I would say I'm a yes man.

The combination of what's written and just being in the moment is always the best way. You gotta start out with something solid and then you play.

It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?

Uh uh uh, turning the car into oncoming traffic... is counterproductive!