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I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.
Mitch HedbergHaving said that, I must now admit that I was still afraid of human beings, and before I could meet even the customers in the bar I had to fortify myself by gulping down a glass of liquor. The desire to see frightening thingsโthat was what drew me every night to the bar where, like the child who squeezes his pet all the harder when he actually fears it a little, I proclaimed to the customers standing at the bar my drunken, bungling theories of art.
Osamu Dazai"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam French fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."... I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."
Rick RiordanPeople like to set the bar high. I like to put the bar on the ground and barely step over it. I like to keep the expectations really low.
Kevin SmithThey know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar - a bar! - because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts.
Fran LebowitzI worked at the original Coyote Ugly bar when I was a young, unpublished writer. Then later when I became a writer, I wrote an article about it for GQ. Disney read this article about this filthy, disgusting pit in the East Village [of New York City], where we used to set the bar on fire to get customers away from us, and said, "That's a great movie for kids!" They made the fantastic Coyote Ugly movie, now legendary.
Elizabeth GilbertThere is an eternal conflict between the school-room and the bar-room. The school-room makes men, the bar-room destroys them.
Thomas Jordan JarvisIf you put a Mars bar in one of Glenn Hughesโ hands and a bass in the other, heโll choose the Mars bar.
Gary MooreFor about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You're in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.
Gabriel IglesiasWe're bar room buddies and we're the best kind, nobody messes with that friend of mine. Chug-a-lug-a-lug-a-lugga, bar room buddy of mine.
Merle HaggardWhen I began rapping, I only had one form at my disposal. All I had, all I needed was a rhyme verse; sixteen bar, thirty-two bar, whatever it was. If I had an idea it came out as a rhyme. When I challenged myself to think beyond that, my first thing other than a rhyme that I wrote was a play.
Kate TempestThe great thing about Europe is that things have not been represented [as much]. If you open the door of a bar in Brooklyn in a film you know exactly who is the mobster, who is the nice guy, who is the drunk, who's the waitress, who's the lonely heart. If you push open the door to a bar in Antwerp or Lisbon or Rotterdam, people will talk five different languages. You don't know who's who. You don't know if that guy is a banker or a mobster.
Thomas BidegainI feel like there's not this black-and-white division between concert hall music and music that bands play in a bar. I don't know if this was ever truly the case, but I don't feel that I need to decide between playing for a sit-down, totally silent audience and playing for a bunch of noisy, drunk people in a bar. What I do with the group is somewhere in between.
Missy MazzoliWe have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar.
Charles BukowskiNew York [cannot] remain the center of commerce and capital for this continent, unless it has an independent bar and an honest judiciary.
Samuel J. TildenI go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don't know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.
Emo PhilipsTo hang out in a gay bar or put on a sequined halter top makes me feel like a total person.
Dennis RodmanThere was a year straight where every weekend, I went to at least one bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, and we would all go, and it was a lot of fun. We sneak some beer; we'd hang out; we would try to get with girls and not. And usually we'd just end up hanging out together alone.
Seth RogenWhen somebody brings up a movie (of mine) that I haven't heard about in a long time, I feel like a 70-year-old pitcher at a bar somewhere, and somebody walks in and says, 'Oh, my God, I was in St. Louis and I saw you. You pitched a shutout.' It's real. I really did do that, because someone today remembers it.
Sean AstinHow could poetry and literature have arisen from something as plebian as the cuneiform equivalent of grocery-store bar codes? I prefer the version in which Prometheus brought writing to man from the gods. But then I remind myself that...we should not be too fastidious about where great ideas come from. Ultimately, they all come from a wrinkled organ that at its healthiest has the color and consistency of toothpaste, and in the end only withers and dies.
Alice Weaver FlahertyThe revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn't quite happen.
Doug StanhopeA jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
Tommy CooperI prepared five songs, I sang them, and he hired me. I started working about a month later at the piano bar.
Bobby McFerrinJust go to a bar, watch football - that's fun to me because I've not gotten to see anything because I've been travelling so much. Playing some shuffleboard and some pool and darts. I like kind of dive-y bars.
Miles TellerI'm excited for people to realize that I'm 25 years old and not a teenager anymore... even though I still look 18 and can't get into a bar to save my life!
Brittany SnowThe weird set an example for the rest of us. They raise the bar. They show us through their actions that in fact we're wired to do the new, not to comply with someone a thousand miles away.
Seth GodinThis surface good-nature which captivates a new acquaintance and is no bar to treachery, which knows no scruple and is never at fault for an excuse, which makes an outcry at the wound which it condones, is one of the most distinctive features of the journalist. This camaraderie (the word is a stroke of genius) corrodes the noblest minds; it eats into their pride like rust, kills the germ of great deeds, and lends a sanction to moral cowardice.
Honore de BalzacI went to Canada and played in this tiny bar where the windows were steaming up and everybody was so animated and singing along right there at the foot of the stage, looking up, and I got my mojo back .
Dar WilliamsMy parents' convictions, when it came to discipline, were not very strong. For my bar mitzvah, I gave out a mix tape of '90s grunge - if you got it now, you would think it was the 'Singles' soundtrack.
Adam PallyBefore I became a writer, I was running a jazz bar in the center of Tokyo, which means that I worked in filthy air all the time late into the night. I was very excited when I started making a living out of my writing, and I decided, 'I will live in nothing but an absolutely healthy way.'
Haruki MurakamiIt was easy to get a job at the Cedar Bar because people came and went, but I didn't like the atmosphere. Instead, I got a job at Cooper Union Library. I stayed at Cooper Union for seven years; it was my salvation. While I worked there, I also read books of every kind.
Claes OldenburgIt's harder, but we're still finding oil in Oklahoma today. The bar has been raised on startup companies, but it can still be done. Every regulation and every rule limits you, but, yes, it can still be done. That's the beauty of living in a free country and having the freedom to have an idea and become an entrepreneur.
Harold HammWe keep waiting for the American people to wake up, and they keep hitting the snooze bar. But something, folks, someday, will wake them up. Of that I'm confident.
Rush LimbaughFor a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah.
Artie LangeI think it's sinful to give the audience material it knows already, whether the material is about race relations or the car culture or the depiction and placement of a candy bar.
Manny FarberIt was one of the few places where someone remembered his name. Yeah, okay, so he felt like Sam Malone on Cheers, but there was no Norm or Cliff sitting at the bar here. More like Spike and Switchblade.โ (Wulf)
Sherrilyn KenyonEveryone said, โBrace yourself, Lupita! Keep a granola bar in that clutch of yours!โ I didnโt really understand what they meant, and it was only once it was past that I realized that my body had been holding on by a thread to get through this very intense experience. Nothing can prepare you for awards season. The red carpet feels like a war zone, except you cannot fly or fight; you just have to stand there and take it.
Lupita Nyong'oYou can be deported back to Canada, absolutely, for a shockingly minor infraction. Little bar fight. Next thing you know you are back in Sascatchuan. Which I'm not from, thank God... But it did concern me.
Ryan ReynoldsHe that wrongs a friend Wrongs himself more, and ever bears about A silent court of justice in his breast, Himself the judge and jury, and himself The prisoner at the bar ever condemned.
Alfred Lord TennysonYour voice, amplified to the degree where it reaches from one end of the country to the other, does not confer upon you greater wisdom than when your voice reached only from one end of the bar to the other.
Edward R. MurrowHe turned and reached behind him for the chocolate bar, then he turned back again and handed it to Charlie. Charlie grabbed it and quickly tore off the wrapper and took an enormous bite. Then he took anotherโฆand anotherโฆand oh, the joy of being able to cram large pieces of something sweet and solid into one's mouth! The sheer blissful joy of being able to fill one's mouth with rich solid food! 'You look like you wanted that one, sonny,' the shopkeeper said pleasantly. Charlie nodded, his mouth bulging with chocolate.
Roald DahlSports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.
Richard JeniI was in a bar and I said to a friend, 'You know, we've become those 40-year-old guys we used to look at and say, 'Isn't it sad?'
George ClooneyPersonally, I can't see why it would be any less romantic to find a husband in a nice four-color catalogue than in the average downtown bar at happy hour.
Barbara EhrenreichAlthough I am good at enumerating my fatherโs flaws, itโs hard for me to sustain much anger at him. I expect this is partly because heโs dead, and partly because the bar is lower for fathers than it is for mothers.
Alison BechdelGive yourself another chance to make your dream a reality. Don't allow a delay to become a denial. Raise the bar on yourself, increase your determination, and explode your drive. You will fail your way to success. Everything you experience can be used to grow through...not just to go through. Make your dream happen! You deserve!
Les Brown