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I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.
Mitch Hedberg"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam French fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."... I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."
Rick RiordanI did pass the bar in Pennsylvania. I can practice Amish law. But it's long expired, my bar license.
Rich FulcherNew York [cannot] remain the center of commerce and capital for this continent, unless it has an independent bar and an honest judiciary.
Samuel J. TildenMy friend is one who takes me for what I am. A stranger takes me for something else than what I am. . . . What men call social virtues, good fellowship, is commonly but the virtue of pigs in a litter which lie close together to keep each other warm. It brings men together in crowds and mobs in bar-rooms and elsewhere, but it does not deserve the name of virtue.
Henry David ThoreauI've never been one for sitting on beaches. Let me tell you who I am: I'm a girl from New Jersey who moved to New York and worked in a bar while trying to make a living at what I really wanted to do, which was act.
Piper PeraboYou'd phone or knock on the door of your friend or neighbour if they hadn't appeared at your local pub or bar for a few days, just to make sure they weren't dead in the cellar.
Jason FlemyngA man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny YoungmanChrist wants not nibblers of the possible, but grabbers of the impossible, by faith in the omnipotence, fidelity, and wisdom of the Almighty Saviour Who gave the command. Is there a wall in our path? By our God we will leap over it! Are there lions and scorpions in our way? We will trample them under our feet! Does a mountain bar our progress? Saying, 'Be thou cast into the sea,' we will march on. Soldiers of Jesus! Never surrender!
Charles StuddWhoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
Dana GouldRick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see the day." "Nah, I want to tell you this joke I heard." Keir nodded, patient. "Shoot." "Two Irish cops walk into a bar. The first cop says..." Rick's voice dropped. He said gruffly, "I love you. Come home." Keir managed to keep his voice steady. "What's the other cop say?" The sweetness of Rick's smile was like a kick in his chest. "That's what I'm here to find out, boyo.
Josh LanyonI get myself a gig somewhere, whether it's in a club, whether it's in a bar, it doesn't matter, and I just work on New Year's Eve because I always feel it's very symbolic for me for the next year, for the new year.
Debbie HarryEddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
Don RicklesIf you're unwilling to leave someplace you've outgrown, you will never reach your full potential. To be the best, you have to constantly be challenging yourself, raising the bar, pushing the limits of what you can do. Don't stand still, leap forward.
Ronda RouseyI've had my Charlie Sheen moments, it was usually just at the Mars Bar on the corner of First Avenue with me and a few homeless guys.
MobyObviously the bar is much higher now for a behavior to be scandalous. Social media has really changed the way people live. It's not a new impulse; it's just being enacted in a new way.
Curtis SittenfeldI am terminally sentimental about graduations. They are more individual than weddings, more conscious than christenings, or bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs. They are almost as much a step into the unknown as funerals-though I assure you, there is life after graduation.
Gloria SteinemI don't know if tennis players feel like that but when you have a great opponent - although I didn't feel like he [ Ben Mendelsohn ] was an opponent - you just know your game is going to jack up and it's just going to raise the bar. I couldn't wait for that elevation.
John LeguizamoYeah, most guys don't like to think about going to a bar with a girlfriend and watching her leave with someone else.
Nick AntoscaA duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.
Jodi PicoultSo we came to the Ritz hotel and the Ritz Hotel was divine. Because when a girl can sit in a delightful bar and have delicious champagne cocktails and look at all the important French people in Paris, I think it is divine.
Anita LoosI would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb.
Chelsea HandlerThe British feel of blues has been hard, rather than emotional. Far too much emphasis on 12 bar, too little attention to words, far too little originality.
Alexis KornerI've studied Kabbalah, as you know, for many years, so there are a lot of things I do that one would associate with practising Judaism. I hear the Torah every Saturday. I observe Shabbat. I say certain prayers. My son was bar mitzvahed. So this appears like I'm Jewish, but these rituals are connected to what I describe as the Tree of Life consciousness and have more to do with the idea of being an Israelite, not Jewish.
Madonna CicconeLife is a sleazy stranger, who looks vaguely familiar; flirting with a bimbo named disaster at the end of the bar.
Ani DiFrancoIn the one-on-one it is going to be harder for [Donald] Trump to get away from those sorts of things because there will be more opportunities for Hillary [Clinton] to follow up on those sorts of things. And I also think to your previous point, I think she really does need to induce errors from him because the biggest hazard to Hillary Clinton is that Trump could clear the low bar of acceptability in debate.
Josh BarroWhat we need now is the greatest generation of young adults in the history of the Church. We need your whole heart and soul. In other words, it's time to raise the bar not only for missionaries but also for returned missionaries and for your entire generation.
M. Russell BallardPhin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Cleaโs cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophieโs dress and thought, Never mind, Frank.
Jennifer CrusieThere is a vast difference - a constitutional difference-between restrictions imposed by the state which prohibit the intellectual commingling of students, and the refusal of individuals to commingle where the state presents no such bar.
Fred M. VinsonStart training yourself. You don't have to have been an elite lifter to be a good coach - I sure as hell wasn't. But you have to at least have been under the bar enough to know why wedon't look up at the bleeding ceiling when we squat!
Mark RippetoeDrawn by warm nostalgic feelings for the place and by two sweet little words: "Open Bar."
Bill GeistI train for about an hour five days a week and feel I'm in the best shape I've ever been. I can eat what I want and that includes scoffing half a big bar of Cadbury's a day.
Peter AndreMemories are like mercury. Every time you sort of try to get near them, they slip out of your hand like a bar of soap.
Daphne GuinnessMy coolest job was when I was 12 and I was a dishwasher at the Three Pigs Bar-B-Que for $2.50 an hour. All the fleabags and stoners worked there, so thatโs where I wanted to be.
Jared LetoPeople used to complain that selling a president was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign, you just get two guys telling you they really value cleanliness.
David Brooks3 people get stranded on a remote Island A Banker, a Daily Mail reader & an Asylum seeker All they have to eat is a box of 10 Mars bars The Banker says "Because of my expertise in asset management, I''ll look after our resources" The other 2 agree So the Banker opens the box, gobbles down 9 of the Mars bars and hands the last one to the Daily Mail reader He then says " I'd keep an eye on that Asylum seeker, he's after your Mars Bar
Christopher BrookmyreIn Canada you can still settle things with your fists. If there's a fight in a bar, no one goes to jail.
Jeremy HotzYou know, the next time you're guilty of anything, the next time you're charged with anything, try saying, "Hey, hey, hey, I didn't mean to run the stop sign." Or, "I didn't mean to leave the bar and get behind the wheel. I really didn't. I didn't mean to get behind the wheel after having some adult beverages." See if that works for you. And if you're saying it's not the same thing, yes, it is.
Rush LimbaughTo be really happy, we must throw our hearts over the bar and hope that our bodies will follow.
Graham TaylorHe turned and reached behind him for the chocolate bar, then he turned back again and handed it to Charlie. Charlie grabbed it and quickly tore off the wrapper and took an enormous bite. Then he took anotherโฆand anotherโฆand oh, the joy of being able to cram large pieces of something sweet and solid into one's mouth! The sheer blissful joy of being able to fill one's mouth with rich solid food! 'You look like you wanted that one, sonny,' the shopkeeper said pleasantly. Charlie nodded, his mouth bulging with chocolate.
Roald Dahl