Greg Gutfeld Quotes

I don't believe a religion affords any protection if they are connected to any kind of terror.

We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.

How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?

What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.

Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.

Job creation is important I think, but it's not the critical issue for Republicans.

When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens. I think that your people, when you save a place. But the problem is, then you see immigrants saving cities in Baltimore and you see 40 Korean groceries get burned down.

People ask me what I am politically and I've previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian after being around conservatives.

You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.

When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.

America is like the greatest hit of the world.

I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.

If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.

Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?

I need somebody to Trump-xplain(ph) this, because I don`t understand it.I`ve heard people defend him about making fun of a disability, making fun of John McCain, making fun of women - a woman`s face.I just wanted to hear somebody defend this as well, because it just never ends. No one will ever stop defending the crass stuff he says.

There are always gonna be people that are gonna be offended about something. This will never end.

Let's be clear about what people never say about Playboy on television. It was nothing more than an instrument for onanism. That's what it was. And the Internet co-opted that industry of self- gratification. There is no necessity for lonely men or teenagers to use Playboy. It turns out no one bought that magazine for the articles ever; it was used for only one thing.

Republicans do actually care about health care. They just don't care about government-run health care.

I think the reason why 'Red Eye' is popular is because we question the common assumptions that you find elsewhere.

Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.

Imagine if today, they invented a religion that advocated the killing of gays. We would not tolerate that. However, Islam is a religion that advocates that.

Some things get better with age. And then there's Madonna.

The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.

It's easy to whip up resentment against anything that smacks with authority. Nobody ever organizes over pan handlers. So even if a cop is black, like the three arrested in Baltimore, or one dead in Mississippi, the hard left uses race as the underlying cause. It's why there are no defiant marches when policemen are killed.

Is your relationship strong enough to survive a trip to Ikea? Is their furniture strong enough to survive a relationship? Have you ever bought a bed there?

So the villains aren't gay-hating Islamists or women killing tyrants, but actually us: an American Congress bent on the apocalypse. Don't we understand? Iranians love their children too.

The government is controlling your mind through chem trails, we all know this is true.

What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.

The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.

If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.

If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.

I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.

Playboy seems like a sad magazine for me. It seems like for men who would sit around in a bath robe.

Celebrities are the doormats to power.

When you get famous and rich when you're young, what happens is you start feeling insecure.

One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.

We need an idiot middle ground, where we have to be honest and say, kids can be idiots and cops can be idiots.

We have two nations, and it's not black or white. It's red and blue. Under Republican leadership, cities tend to do better. Cities are destroyed under Democrats, because they don't know how to deal with the constituency; they're terrified.

Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.

Security should not be a black and white thing.

When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.

The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls

I would like to see a president with a monocle.

The problem with legalization is we already have a dependent generation that's subsidized to oblivion. And will legal pot somehow slice another sliver of the population off of the productive world?

The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.

When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.