Don Rickles Quotes

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

My whole act is off the top of my head.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.

I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

I think they [Martin Scorsese, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra] liked my honesty. My personality. For that, they always treated me great. I, in turn, treated them great. No secret about it. My being who I am - that is that.

My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

I've never walked off stage and said, I shouldn't have done that. Because when you do what I do, you're like a fighter. You throw the right hand and say, That's what got me to this dance. You can't have doubt. If you have doubt, there's no show.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.

You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

I grew up in an Orthodox family, as I grew older, I became Conservative and that's how it ended up. But I've developed that Jewish feel to my act from my surroundings and my family.

We show a lot of film [with Regis Philbin] from my career which is most enjoyable. I enjoy watching it.