In all relationships, regardless of their nature, there comes that moment when you understand that there are some things you will never understand. When you are standing in that moment, just be right with it.
Iyanla VanzantWhat do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain. They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move for them.
Iyanla VanzantWhat we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles.
Iyanla VanzantThe voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction.
Iyanla VanzantBe aware that who you are and what you have to offer can be a beacon to some lost soul.
Iyanla VanzantI had no preconceived idea what fame would be like, because I never thought I would be famous. I just wanted to do my work. Hell, I just wanted to pay my rent on time.
Iyanla VanzantWhy are you measuring? This is how you block, delay, hinder, obstruct and deny his place in the life as a father.
Iyanla VanzantAt birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartilage becomes hard bone, the soft, tender heart of an innocent child can become hardened by the circumstances into which she is born.
Iyanla VanzantSpeak and live in simple sentences. Bring closure -- put a period to -- those experiences that you don't want to carry on forever and ever. Use commas in those places where you're still growing... and use exclamation points at the end of every lesson.
Iyanla VanzantI've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lived it and I'm still here to talk about it and help someone else if I can.
Iyanla VanzantWhen you don't show up as who you are, people fall in love with who you're not. Then when they find out who you are, that's when they leave.
Iyanla VanzantYou cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of love or the peaceful satisfaction of being loved if you hide from hurt.
Iyanla VanzantDon't get hung up on the hard times, the challenges. Tell your story by highlighting the victories. Because it's your victories that will inspire, motivate, encourage other people to live their stories in grander ways.
Iyanla VanzantEverything that's happening in our world is a function of what is going on inside of people. We are violent in our minds. We are violent with one another. We walk past one another in the street and don't even look nor make eye contact - don't speak. We can be outraged about the missiles and the planes. I'm more outraged that somebody will walk past me in the street and not look me in the face and say good morning.
Iyanla VanzantNever underestimate the ruthlessness of the ego to keep you in a state of suffering in which you voluntarily participate.
Iyanla VanzantMany self-employed people provide services that are nonessential. So whether you get your hair done less or your hair cut less, or your nails done less, as a writer and a speaker I was very clear that corporations weren't being as open and as generous and I wasn't getting the kind of work that I usually got.
Iyanla VanzantTrust is not about being comfortable. It is about being willing to move beyond your comfort zone when there is absolutely no evidence you will be supported. Think of it this way. Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were in the beginning.
Iyanla VanzantMany people want payback and to see others suffer. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. You can choose to be enslaved and burdened or you can choose to be free. It's a choice. Forgiveness is a state of being. So once you do it, it alters who you are and the way you can be in the world.
Iyanla VanzantReligion is the rules, regulations, ceremonies and rituals developed by man to create conformity and uniformity in the approach to God. Spirituality is God's call in your soul.
Iyanla VanzantWhen you really believe that you are worthy of the best, that you deserve the best & that there is enough of the best for you to have plenty, there will be no need for you to hold on to what you have. Allow yourself to imagine what your life would be like if your hands and heart were to receive something better than what you are holding onto right now.
Iyanla VanzantYou cannot make your life move faster than it's moving. No matter how urgent your situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with life. Patience always pays off.
Iyanla VanzantStay in your car in your lane on your road in your world. Stay in your own lane. Don't be minding other people's spiritual business. Stay in your car. In your lane. On your road. In your world.
Iyanla VanzantChoice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.
Iyanla VanzantYou have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, 'I don't care if that's what you want. I don't want that. No.'
Iyanla VanzantThe way to achieve your own success is to be willing to help somebody else get it first.
Iyanla VanzantWe must each learn to feel comfortable in our own uniqueness by rising above the fear of being wrong and the aversion to being different.
Iyanla VanzantOprah Winfrey gives you the stage? Shut your mouth. I said, 'I'm sorry for taking over your show.' She said, 'No, that's why we have you here.'
Iyanla VanzantAs you move through the day, be aware of how you treat yourself. Be aware of what you do to and for yourself, because you set the standard for others. As you grow in your awareness of how you treat yourself, you will probably become aware of the example you have set for others. You may realize that the time has come to set a new example.
Iyanla VanzantWhat keeps us from achieving our heart's desires is not anything outside of us, it's the conflict inside.
Iyanla VanzantYou know why the road curves as you're driving along? It curves because if God showed us the distance from where we are to where we’re going, we’d think it was too far.
Iyanla VanzantThe highest form of praise you can offer to yourself, to God and to the world is to spend time each day expressing gratitude. It says to God that you are aware and appreciative of grace. It says to life that you are acknowledging its awesome presence in you. It says to yourself that you are worth the time it takes to be healed. Time spent in silence, contemplation and gratitude is time spent in devotion to a higher calling and a more loving state of being.
Iyanla VanzantIt is important to acknowledge all your feelings and not beat yourself up for having them. Your feelings are not good or bad, they just are.
Iyanla VanzantI wasn't ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so overwhelming, because no one can tell you beforehand when it will happen or how it will impact you. So no one can tell you how to handle it, being stopped everywhere you go because people saw you on 'Oprah.' It took me over, and I wasn't ready.
Iyanla Vanzant