Shaquille O'Neal Quotes

I didn't say anything. Got nothing to say. I'm a married man; I don't need a relationship with another man.

You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen. Now me, I'm the showman of big men.

You guys make the rules up, so a foul is a foul. It doesn't matter if a guy is bigger and stronger. It's not my fault I ate my Frosted Flakes when I was little, and you ate Wheaties.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.

It's hard being the NBA's sex symbol, but somebody has to do it.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

It's LeBron's team. He's the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do.

I'm like tax. You're going to pay one way or the other.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together.

Me and Penny are going to be the Kareem and Magic of the '90s.

I'd heard stuff from out there that I was just another player, that I was too young. I wanted to show I could play with anybody.

How did Mike Bibby get on the team? Any Cub Scout with Boy Scouts can do Boy Scoutish things. When Bibby was in the Cub Scouts, he was a Cub Scout. When he was with Vancouver, nobody heard about him. Now that he's with Sacramento... he's on the team. I ain't going.

My sons love LeBron more than they love me. I'm just a little jealous about it.

I got it, I dove on the floor, he dove on my head and I hit my teeth on the ground. It was just one of my police reactions to get that criminal off me.

I blame Riley for my broken thumb, not Matt Geiger. That ain't defense Miami is playing. That's just chopping. I have no idea how his team gets away with it. I guess when you've been in the league 30 years you can do it. Respect, he gets it - he's like John Gotti.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.

They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

We had more great times than bad times together, but they've moved on, I've moved on. I have a new team now and I have a new focus.

Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That's like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that's 5-10, 480 (pounds).

The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don't know. I'll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don't know anything about him, and it's kinda sad.

Georgetown. Alonzo was the guy I always heard about. I've always wanted to measure myself against the best.

I knew I was going to make one. I wanted to make two, but the first one rattled in and rattled right out.

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

I'm not going to go home and drink rat urine.

The NBA's been around how long? A hundred years? Fifty years? So to change it now, whoever that person is needs his college degree revoked....Whoever did that needs to be fired. It was terrible, a terrible decision. Awful. I might get fined for saying that, but so what?

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

There will be a report coming out, and my name will be on it.

This really isn't a game we really should be proud of. This game is liking taking your kids to the zoo. You're supposed to take your kids to the zoo. You're a father. So a team like that, we're supposed to beat them like this.

When you feed the big dog, it does whatever you tell him to do.

My children, every time they ask me for something, I tell them to round their old stuff up.

I think everything happens for a reason. With my game being the way it is, if I did shoot 80 percent, I'd be a harder person to deal with. It just keeps me humble. Just imagine me in my game shooting the same percentage that Reggie Miller shoots. I wouldn't even talk to you guys because I wouldn't have to.

I don't believe that I personally have been changed by the money. The bad thing is people assume you've changed because now you have money.

There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade.

When I get old, I'm going to the old folks' home. I don't want to be one of those guys who's hanging around the house bothering the kids. But not just any old folks' home. I want the whole top floor.

We would love to have Gary down here. He's still tenacious on defense, and I know he still wants [a title]. And I'm the only guy in the world who can get him one.

The first movie [Grown Ups], people loved it and we felt that there were so many characters and so many good comic situations that there was enough material leftover for us to do a sequel.

First person who says that to my face, I'll punch you!

The Spurs are a great WNBA team.

I was really upset. I felt like they tried to limit me, whoever 'they' may be. So I just said to myself third quarter I'm going to come out and do what I do.

I respect the older guys.

Pluto is not a planet, but I am.

The Big Cactus. I will stick you.

We know what we have to do. I know I have to get up in the morning, put my underwear on first and then put my pants on first. I don't need people to tell me that.

My first movie. I think I won an Oscar for this.

I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge... in this medulla oblongata.