Eoin Colfer Quotes

Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.

A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.

Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

...This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it.” Butler would not give up. “Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There’s nothing in this for you.

It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-

I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy." Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us... all those things." But buried alive?! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know the one with all the horror." "I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?" "Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.

Together we will be unstoppable.

Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.

Foaly twitched his tail contentedly. Genius. No point in being humble about it.

We lost the crickets.

Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

I am so sick of you smart kids. Why can't you just boost cars or steal stuff like normal kids?' 'We do steal stuff. Just bigger stuff.

Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube?" "It's always cubes with you," noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. "What's wrong with a nice sphere?

Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?" "Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?" "No. I was unconscious.

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.

Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.

Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this. At least Artemis hoped this was what his wink communicated and not something like 'Any chance of another kiss later?

A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.

Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. "Wait! Just wait," she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. "I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?" Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. "No," he said. "No plan.

There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.

Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty" "Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now.

HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them.

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

Trust me. I'm a genius.

Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.

If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and the manuscript for THE BIG O.

No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?

And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.

gold is power-artemis fowl I liked the artemis fowl series because its about a boy genius

Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.