Melody Beattie Quotes

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say? You bet we do.

Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.

Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever, it is for the present moment

Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable.

Choosing to take responsibility for ourselves and for the consequences our choices create looks like hard work, but it really sets us free.

Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state.

We need to build downtime into our lives, so that we can have solitude without feeling overcome with guilt.

We are more than our problems. Even if our problem is our own behavior, the problem is not who we are-it's what we did. It's okay to have problems. It's okay to talk about problems-at appropriate times, and with safe people. It's okay to solve problems. And we're okay, even when we have, or someone we love has a problem. We don't have to forfeit our personal power or our self-esteem. We have solved exactly the problems we've needed to solve to become who we are.

Today I will surrender to discipline. I realize that sometimes it takes time to see the fruits of my labors, yet I still need to practice discipline. Help me to remember, God, that I'm moving forward, and that I'm learning the very important art of discipline.

I saw people who were hostile; they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again.

Perspective will come in retrospect.

What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know.

I know when to say no and when to say yes. I take responsibility for my choices. The victim? She went somewhere else. The only one who can truly victimize me is myself, and 99 percent of the time I choose to do that no more. But I need to continue to remember the key principles: boundaries, letting go, forgiveness after feeling my feelings—not before, self-expression, loving others but loving myself, too.

Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.

Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.

Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.

Going home means getting comfortable being who you are and who your soul really wants to be. There is no strain with that. The strain and tension come when we're not being who our soul wants to be and we're someplace where our soul doesn't feel at home.

The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. I welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety into my life. I will make a point of listening to my healthy, rational fears, and will relinquish all the others.

We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we're so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that's telling us that it really wants to teach children to read. While it helps to identify with each other, we're not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things? Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have?

Love yourself just as you are.

... I've learned that I have many, many soul mates here, and they come to me at the right time and in the right place. They come to help me when I'm lost, and each comes with different sets of lessons for me -- usually, always, my most intense lessons -- the ones my soul came here to learn.

You don't have to search so hard for meaning and destiny. If you focus on keeping yourself clear and in balance and you live from your heart, destiny and your highest-good path will unfold naturally at your feet.

there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us. Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. They will teach. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. They will care. Help will come, but help is not rescuing. We are our own rescuers. Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.

Gratitude isn't a tool to manipulate the universe or God. It's a way to acknowledge our faith that everything happens for a reason even if we don't know what that reason is. ~Melody Beattie, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact, pg. 34.

Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.

Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

Today, I will focus on what's right about me. I will give myself some of the caring I've extended to the world.

A man went to Istanbul, his first visit there. On his way to a business meeting, this man lost his way. He began raging at himself for getting lost, until a realization allowed him to transcend his ire. "How can I be lost? I've never been here before?" pp 104-105

Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

We don't just get our choice; we get the consequence that choice creates.

We can stop picking on ourselves for picking on ourselvesWe can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nuture ourselves and love ourselves. We can accept our wonderful selves, with all our faults, foibles, strong points, weak points, feelings, thoughts, and everything else. It's the best thing we've got going for us. It's who we are, and who we were meant to be. And it's not a mistake. We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier.

Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.

Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible-controlling that which we cannot-and instead, focus on what is possible-which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed.

Let go of your expectations. The universe will do what it will. Sometimes your dreams will come true. Sometimes they won't. Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place. Be aware of what is, not what you would like to be, taking place.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Gratitude makes things right.

When we're surrounded by things that look impossible, making a simple choice to do something that's possible is a powerful thing to do.

Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.

I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer's disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn't because it was what I wanted to do.

...the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.

Today I will focus on a peaceful pace, rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. I will let go of my need to be anxious and upset and will replace these feelings with calmness and harmony.

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power.

Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.

Be patient. Relax and trust. Let go. Then, let go some more.