Eoin Colfer Quotes

Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.

How was your... eh... trip?" Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful.

Holly is alive,' thought Foaly 'My princess lives,'exulted Orion. 'And we're chasing a dragon

I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command.

If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

He knew that Dr. Argon would advise him against bottling up his emotions as it would lead to psychological scarring in the long term.

I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.

Holly winked. 'Do I look like a fly boy to you, Fowl?' Artemis had to admit that she didn't. Captain Short was extremely pretty in a dangerous sort of way. Black-widow pretty. Artemis was expecting puberty to hit in approximately eight months, and he suspected that at that point he would look at Holly in a different light. It was probably just as well that she was eighty years old.

Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles." Holly opened the throttle. "Now there's an order I never thought I'd hear from you.

Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.

People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.

Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.

Holly frowned at her. "Glad to see you've forgiven yourself so quickly." "Harboring feelings of guilt can have a negative affect on mental health." "Child geniuses," growled Holly. "Genii," said Minerva.

Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.

(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Okay. I said it, it's out there. And I am fine now. So let's move on, shall we? What's the plan?

Holly, do you trust me?” Holly groaned. “Artemis, don’t ask me that. I just know one of your outrageous plans is coming.” “Do you trust me?” “Yes,” Holly sighed. “I do. More than anyone.

Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!

If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.

Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?" All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. "I am not here." Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. "Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass!" Donal let out a long suffering sigh. "Eoin is being a writer." Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.

I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over

Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

So, let's make a deal: If you do not voice all the withering comments about the weight or uselessness of this jacket that are no doubt swirling in that big brain of yours, then I will not mention the super-laser episode again. Agreed?" This jacket is really cutting into my shoulders, thought Artemis. And it's so heavy that I could not outrun a slug. But he said, "Agreed.

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?

I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.

I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today." He leaned in close and whispered, "I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.