Apology is both transactional, in that it restores what has been broken to what it was before, and transformational, in that it creates opportunities that didn't exist before.
John KadorApology is the practice of extending ourselves because we value the relationship more than we value the need to be right.
John KadorApology may start as a feeling, a desire to make matters right, but it requires a commitment to move that desire into practice, to actually take on the great courageous task of showing compassion to others.
John Kador"I would like to apologize" may sound like an apology, but it is no more an actual apology than saying "I would like to lose weight" makes you suddenly slimmer.
John KadorYou don't have to see eye-to-eye to walk hand-in-hand. You just have to want to go in the same direction.
John KadorAccepting the apology signals the acknowledgment of a need to move forward, but not necessarily together.
John KadorOne of the most useful tasks of apology is to bring home to us how keenly, honestly, and painfully past generations pursued aims that now seem to us wrong and disgraceful. It behooves us to consider if future geenrations will similarly regard the aims we most defend today.
John KadorAn effective apology contains within it the answer to the question, "How am I to be held accountable?"
John KadorWhen I accept an apology it means that the part in me that honors our relationship honors the part in you that honors our relationship.
John KadorApology sends the clearest signal that we have the strength of character to reconcile ourselves with the truth.
John KadorApologies have more power than most of us realize to restore strained relationships, free us from vengeful impulses, and create possibilities for growth.
John KadorAn effective apology focuses more on compassion for the victim than redemption for the offender.
John Kador