Will Rogers Quotes

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity's door if you ardently wish to enter.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges?

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again.

Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people.

Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

Some say, what is the Salvation of the Movies? I say, run 'em backwards. It can't hurt 'em and it's worth a trial.

Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

We do more talking progress than we do progressing.