She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
P. G. WodehouseMr Beach was too well bred to be inquisitive, but his eyebrows here not. 'Ah!' he said. '?', cried the eyebrows. '? ? ?' Ashe ignored the eyebrows. ... Mr Beach's eyebrows were still mutely urging him to reveal all, but Ashe directed his gaze at that portion of the room which Mr Beach did not fill. He was hanged if he was going to let himself be hypnotized by a pair of eyebrows into incriminating himself.
P. G. WodehouseA man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
P. G. WodehouseHe felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WodehouseBoyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
P. G. WodehouseI never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.
P. G. Wodehouse...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
P. G. WodehouseHe enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
P. G. WodehouseSkiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
P. G. WodehouseProvidence seems to look after the chumps of this world; and, personally, I'm all for it.
P. G. WodehouseThe only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
P. G. WodehouseThe cosy glow which had been enveloping the Duke became shot through by a sudden chill. It was as if he had been luxuriating in a warm shower bath, and some hidden hand had turned on the cold tap.
P. G. WodehouseI remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course.
P. G. WodehouseIt ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?
P. G. WodehouseI can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P. G. WodehouseHalf a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha.
P. G. WodehouseWe Woosters freeze like the dickens when we seek sympathy and meet with cold reserve. "Nothing further Jeeves", I said with quiet dignity.
P. G. Wodehouse...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.
P. G. WodehouseI love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.
P. G. WodehouseRex Stout's narrative and dialogue could not be improved, and he passes the supreme test of being rereadable. I don't know how many times I have reread the Wolfe stories, but plenty. I know exactly what is coming and how it is all going to end, but it doesn't matter. That's writing.
P. G. WodehouseMemories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
P. G. WodehouseStatisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.
P. G. WodehouseIn your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.
P. G. WodehouseWhat I'm worrying about is what Tom is going to say when he starts talking." "Uncle Tom?" "I wish there was something else you could call him except 'Uncle Tom,' " Aunt Dahlia said a little testily. "Every time you do it, I expect to see him turn black and start playing the banjo.
P. G. WodehouseThere was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
P. G. WodehouseThis is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.
P. G. WodehouseHe looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
P. G. WodehouseWhen you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
P. G. WodehouseIt was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
P. G. WodehouseGolf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.
P. G. WodehouseThat is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P. G. WodehouseIf it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.
P. G. WodehouseThe real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.
P. G. WodehouseFrom my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
P. G. Wodehouse