Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.
Amy SedarisWhen I'm by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don't listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out, I'm not good at it.
Amy SedarisIf I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.
Amy SedarisYou think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
Amy SedarisI like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'
Amy SedarisI'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy SedarisWhen people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
Amy SedarisThey just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
Amy SedarisI cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
Amy SedarisMost people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy SedarisI failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
Amy SedarisIf you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.
Amy SedarisDon't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.
Amy SedarisI'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.
Amy SedarisI need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
Amy SedarisImagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
Amy SedarisI feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
Amy SedarisI like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
Amy Sedaris