This morning arrives a letter from my ancient silver-mining comrade, Calvin H. Higbie, a man whom I have not seen nor had communication with for forty-four years. . . . [Footnote: Roughing It is dedicated to Higbie.] . . . I shall allow myself the privilege of copying his punctuation and his spelling, for to me they are a part of the man. He is as honest as the day is long. He is utterly simple-minded and straightforward, and his spelling and his punctuation are as simple and honest as he is himself. He makes no apology for them, and no apology is needed.
Mark TwainTo trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
Mark TwainA man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark TwainI asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".
Mark TwainI am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.
Mark TwainA banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
Mark TwainCustoms do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed; one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
Mark TwainSane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
Mark TwainMost writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark TwainAt noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
Mark TwainAll schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark TwainIt is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death. It is a time when one is filled with vague longings; when one dreams of flight to peaceful islands in the remote solitudes of the sea, or folds his hands and says, What is the use of struggling, and toiling and worrying any more? let us give it all up.
Mark TwainIn all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark TwainThe old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
Mark TwainA home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
Mark TwainNo church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.
Mark TwainThere's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
Mark TwainAdam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.
Mark TwainI felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
Mark TwainComedy keeps the heart sweet; but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
Mark TwainNever refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
Mark TwainIf to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
Mark TwainThe report of my illness grew out of his (James Clemens) illness. The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark TwainWell enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.
Mark TwainThe true charm of pedestrians does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking.
Mark TwainThe very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark TwainIt's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
Mark TwainWhat, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Mark TwainYou are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
Mark Twain