Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them.

I believe one day a 'ban on gay marriage' will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

It's nice when people love you....for you.

I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Most people don't get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It's important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.

You know that song that asks, "Why do fools fall in love?"? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.

Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

I'm just saying we can all work on our manners. We can say please and thank you. We can be punctual. We can just be nicer to one another. It's something we have in our power to do. It reminds me of that Margaret Mead quote: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.

Above all, I strive to be the best I can - to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.

I know that experts say you're more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn't make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.

What goes up must come down, which is why I don't wear tube tops.

You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?'

I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who's making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?

Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of the life, even if it means hurting your eyes.

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. "Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2."

The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It’s a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals.

Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.

Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved. I was living in the house with a beautiful Mexican family for three months before I realized they weren't my cousins visiting from out of town. They were so nice. They called me "Quien es, quien es," which I thought was a beautiful name.

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.

I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.

Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"

You're never too old to play. You're only too old for low-rise jeans.

I always worry when someone's a good golfer. It's like you shouldn't have time to be good at anything. You should just be a politician and you shouldn't have time to practice golf.

Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

Meditation is helping me learn to sit still. Twenty minutes of meditation in the morning is a nice way to start my day. If you can actually sit still and really get to that place of silence, you realize what's important and what's not important. Little things don't usually get to me anymore.

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.

I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

There's always time to do things that you're passionate about. ... If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. ... Design is really my true love.

Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.

I won't have a hard time being brutally honest. But I won't be mean. You don't have to be mean to be honest.

If anybody could put themselves in that situation of feeling a giant loud voice saying you don't deserve the same rights, you are different and you are not equal, it feels really bad.

We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.

I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.

I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don't harbour resentment.

I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.