The 'Inside-Out' approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self, with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves recedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.
Stephen CoveyTo achieve goals you've never achieved before, you need to start doing things you've never done before.
Stephen CoveyCompliance does not foster innovation, trust does. You can't sustain long-term innovation, for example, in a climate of distrust.
Stephen CoveyWhen people have a real sense of legacy, a sense of mattering, a sense of contribution, it seems to tap into the deepest part of their heart and soul. It brings out the best and subordinates the rest.
Stephen CoveyIf we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.
Stephen CoveyIf you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.
Stephen CoveyWhen you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems.
Stephen CoveyThe key to motivation is motive. It's the why. It's the deeper yes! burning inside that makes it easier to say no to the less important.
Stephen CoveyLittle kindness and courtesies are so important. In relationships, the little things are the big things.
Stephen CoveyTrue greatness will be achieved through the abundant mind that works selflessly - with mutual respect, for mutual benefit.
Stephen CoveyMake small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be a part of the solution, not the problem.
Stephen CoveyHow you treat the one reveals how you regard the many, because everyone is ultimately a one.
Stephen CoveyWhen two people in a marriage are more concerned about getting the golden eggs, the benefits, than they are in preserving the relationship that makes them possible, they often become insensitive and inconsiderate, neglecting the little kindnesses and courtesies so important to a deep relationship. They begin to use control levers to manipulate each other, to focus on their own needs, to justify their own position and look for evidence to show the wrongness of the other person. The love, the richness, the softness and spontaneity begin to deteriorate.
Stephen CoveyWhenever you experience stress of any kind, look into yourself and ask, In what way am I compromising my innermost values in this situation?
Stephen Covey...to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.
Stephen CoveyKeep in mind that you are always saying "no" to something. If it isn't to the apparent and urgent things in your life, it is probably to the most fundamental, highly important things.
Stephen CoveyMoral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect.
Stephen CoveyOur behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences.
Stephen CoveyThe essence of synergy is to value differences-to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses
Stephen CoveyIntegrity is conforming reality to our words - in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations.
Stephen CoveyIt is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.
Stephen CoveySynergy is the highest activity of life; it creates new untapped alternatives; it values and exploits the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people.
Stephen CoveyTrust is a function of both character and competence. Of course you can't trust someone who lacks integrity, but if someone is honest but they can't perform, you're not going to trust them either. You won't trust them to get the job done.
Stephen CoveyYou can't have the fruits without the roots. It's the principle of sequencing: Private Victories proceed Public Victories. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.
Stephen CoveyThe environment you fashion out of your thoughts, your beliefs, your ideals, your philosophy is the only climate you will ever live in. The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.
Stephen CoveyIt's sometimes a painful process. It's a change that has to be motivated by a higher purpose, by the willingness to subordinate what you think you want now for what you want later.
Stephen CoveyI try to exercise regularly every day, if I can. It renews you and it gives you more balance in your life. This is a key leverage point.
Stephen CoveyListen to your conscience regarding something that you simply know you should do, then start small on it - make a promise and keep it. Then move forward and make a little larger promise and keep it. Eventually you'll discover that your sense of honor will become greater than your moods, and that will give you a level of confidence and excitement that you can move to other areas where you feel you need to make improvements or give service.
Stephen CoveyThe more people rationalize cheating, the more it becomes a culture of dishonesty. And that can become a vicious, downward cycle. Because suddenly, if everyone else is cheating, you feel a need to cheat, too.
Stephen CoveyEmployees are given the chance to help shape their company by participating in a company-wide communications program making suggestions on waste reduction, environmental improvement, customer satisfaction, quality improvement, and safety issues.
Stephen CoveyIf you are an effective manager of your self, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will.
Stephen CoveyIf I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other-while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity-then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do-even using so-called good human relations techniques-will be perceived as manipulative.
Stephen Covey