Bill Murray Quotes

People say I'm difficult and sometimes that's a badge of honour.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

You're supposed to have one hand up and one hand down. As you're trying to going up, you're trying to pull someone up at the same time.

The government can destroy wealth but it cannot create wealth, which is the product of labor and management working with creation.

Well it's hard to be yourself, it's the hardest job there is.

I've never made any horrible, horrible movies. If you don't ruin your reputation, you can always get work.

My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses

Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

You have to hope that [good things] happen to you. [...] That's the only thing we really, surely have, is hope. You hope that you can be alive, that things will happen to you that you'll actually witness, that you'll participate in. Rather than life just rolling over you, and you wake up and it's Thursday, and what happened to Monday? Whatever the best part of my life has been, has been as a result of that remembering.

The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

It’s fun to watch someone like John Goodman, and yet it takes work. People say ‘he’s not acting, he’s being himself.’ Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.

I really don't know what's going to come out of my mouth.

I've got kids and that's important. It's funny, you think that there's an expiration date on them and there just isn't.

I'm just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that's what they pay me to do.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so. - Stephen Leacockof Christmas trees around the house, so it smells good.

Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it.

But I can only take so much TV, because there is so much advice. I find people will preach about virtually anything - your diet, how to live your life, how to improve your golf. The lot. I have always had a thing against the Mister Know-It-Alls.

No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between friends and family. But I have felt lonely many times in my life.

Everyone needs to take a vacation from the sort of automatic things you do.

Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.

Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.

You want my dark side? Have I ever stolen anything? Not so much intentionally. But I don't think it's so much stealing as... being a part of the flow of the universe. You know, where there's an exchange. It's positive. It's negative. There's an exchange of goods and services.

There are a lot of actors that are more talented than me at Second City who quit it before they even got to a paying status. Weird luck. I had no other option.

If it starts to drag on set, or if you feel like it's not a fun experience, people get down, the energy gets down. You've got to keep the energy up.

If I run into someone on the street, that's one thing. But answering mail for a living? I like a job where you can play and act kind of goofy and have some fun.

I went to Second City, where you learned to make the other actor look good so you looked good and National Lampoon, where you had to create everything out of nothing, and SNL, where you couldn't make any mistakes, and you learned what collaboration was.

Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.

The only good thing about fame that I've gotten is I've gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I've gotten into a restaurant when I didn't have a suit and tie on. That's really about it.

I know how to be sour. I know that taste.

My back hurts. My legs ache. I'm only four!

You work, you get paid, you drink.

The critics. When they're right, they're right for the wrong reasons. And they're usually wrong.

I think midlife crisis is just a point where people's careers have reached some plateau and they have to reflect on their personal relationships.

I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

You don't have to have all this film stock, you can work faster, and you don't need a giant crew. It's great.

Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.

So far, I've only sailed in the Caribbean. I've sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well. When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it's terrible and amazing stuff.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

Mrs. O'Hair died horribly, a victim of the world she helped to shape. Without the Deity she fought so hard against, there is no right and wrong, increasingly people are ruled by their passions and humanity is a tragedy waiting to happen.

I was at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards one year - they called me up when somebody canceled two days before the thing, and asked me to present some awards. So I went, and one of the funniest film moments I've ever had was when they introduced the New York film critics. They all stood up - motley isn't the word for that group. Everybody had some sort of vision problem, some sort of damage - I had to bury myself in my napkin.

Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.

The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing.

I feel like I'm a better person when I'm quieter.

I realize it's impossible to have any sympathy, I mean, true sympathy, for people that are famous.

We're creating a TV show of Scrooge, starring Jamie Farr, with Buddy Hackett as Scrooge. We're shooting in this Victorian set for weeks, and Hackett is pissed all the time, angry that he's not the center of attention, and finally we get to the scene where we've gotta shoot him at the window, saying, "Go get my boots," or whatever. The set is stocked with Victorian extras and little children in Oliver kind of outfits, and the director says, "All right, Bud - just give it whatever you want." And Hackett goes off on a rant. Unbelievably obscene.