Charlie Sheen Quotes

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.

I'll hear a song I love and suddenly I'm isolated from everything around me just for a nanosecond. That's a moment between a moment.

Charlie Sheen has the potential to cause your soul to weep and forfeit

It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.

I refuse to grow up. I won't become the adult guy.

I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.

I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.

I was bangin’ 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll

If someone follows you, go to a different room. If they keep following you, get in your car. If they follow you in your car, drive to a police station. There are ways to not engage.

Guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies, a ton of success, I mean, come on bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn't even trying.

I'm tired of pretending I'm not special.

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

A lot of people think Major League’s called Wild Thing. As they should.

People ask all the time, "What are you thinking?" It's my least favorite question in the world. The last bastion of solace is my mind. It's an invasion.

You can put people's feet to the fire a bit just by reminding them that we're constantly creating our own history.

Defeat is not an option. Period. The End.

Im a peaceful man with bad intentions.

I’m not 'aw shucks'. Because I'm gnarly.

Dying is for fools. I'm proud of what I created. I exposed people to magic. I exposed people to things they would never see in their normal lives.

The truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy!

Here's the good news. If I realize that I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane.

Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.

I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

It's not about the big deal you struck that day, it's not about the new car, it's not about the obvious stuff. It's about that little introspective moment you had in the middle of all that. Those are moments between the moments, and that's where life is.

Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.

Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.

By the way, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground and all you people care about is my bullshit... Pathetic. Shame, shame shame

I think the power of the mind is amazing, and we've barely scratched the surface of what it can do.

It's not an act. I love it. It's totally original. People go, 'What's going on with this guy? Why does he sound so weird? What is going on in his brain. I don't know. Just one day I suddenly woke up with a new brain.

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.

I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

I'm tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.

You can have rules at home that are different from the rest of the world's as long as you're not hurting anyone.

Touch my children and I will eat your hands off your freakin arms.

The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning.

Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.

I never insert myself into situations where I am completely blind or don't have a single clue about what's being discussed. I don't to be an impostor and just helping for the sake of helping. If I am going to help somebody, I want it to be valuable. And if they don't follow my advice, then they are a frigging idiot. I'm joking.

I blinked and I cured my brain.

I got tiger blood man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

I have Tiger Blood running through my vains.