Kinky Friedman Quotes

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This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.

Kinky Friedman

What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.

Kinky Friedman

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

Kinky Friedman

I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

Kinky Friedman

The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death.

Kinky Friedman

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Kinky Friedman

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

Kinky Friedman

I came from an upper-middle class home, which is always a hard cross for a country singer to bear.

Kinky Friedman

I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.

Kinky Friedman

Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today. That's why they don't get linen.

Kinky Friedman

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

Kinky Friedman

It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world.

Kinky Friedman

The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump has done.

Kinky Friedman

My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.

Kinky Friedman

An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.

Kinky Friedman

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

Kinky Friedman

In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.

Kinky Friedman

He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.

Kinky Friedman

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

Kinky Friedman

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

Kinky Friedman

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Kinky Friedman

I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.

Kinky Friedman

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

Kinky Friedman

I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of nowhere.

Kinky Friedman

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

Kinky Friedman

May the God of your choice bless you.

Kinky Friedman

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Kinky Friedman

The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.

Kinky Friedman

One thing we are sure of is there's no one like Nelson Mandela out there. That's too bad for us.

Kinky Friedman

If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.

Kinky Friedman

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Kinky Friedman

They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.

Kinky Friedman
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