Frank Zappa Quotes

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I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize . You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.

Frank Zappa

The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air.

Frank Zappa

My theory is that there is no word that you can say or noise that you can make with your mouth that is so horrible that it will send you to burn forever in that lake of fire! It's not gonna happen.

Frank Zappa

Gimme the tune. Do I like this tune? Does it sound like another tune that I like? The more familiar it is, the better I like it. Hear those three notes there? Those are the three notes I can sing along with. I like those notes very, very much. Give me a beat. Not a fancy one. Give me a GOOD BEAT -- something I can dance to. It has to go boom-bap, boom-boom-BAP. If it doesn't, I will hate it very, very much. Also, I want it right away -- and then, write me some more songs like that -- over and over and over again, because I'm really into music.

Frank Zappa

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

Frank Zappa

Unbind your mind, there is no time.

Frank Zappa

They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.

Frank Zappa

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.

Frank Zappa

Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun.

Frank Zappa

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Frank Zappa

In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world.

Frank Zappa

Two things are universal: Hydrogen and stupidity

Frank Zappa

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

Frank Zappa

I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.

Frank Zappa

One and one is eleven.

Frank Zappa

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Frank Zappa

Don't do speed, speed turns you in to your parents.

Frank Zappa

Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.

Frank Zappa

So many books, so little time.

Frank Zappa

Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.

Frank Zappa

Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress.

Frank Zappa

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.

Frank Zappa

I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged. I've existed for years but very little has changed. I'm the tool of the government and industry too. For I'm destined to rule and regulate you. You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away. I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say. I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set.

Frank Zappa

The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain Christians do not like. What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow J on all material written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?

Frank Zappa

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

Frank Zappa

You don't think I work 14 hours a day right now?! I mean, I still put in the hours, I still do the work.

Frank Zappa

Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.

Frank Zappa

You're baloney without the mayo.

Frank Zappa

I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric

Frank Zappa

Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?

Frank Zappa

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

Frank Zappa

I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don't like it, there's always Michael Jackson for them to listen to.

Frank Zappa

Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)

Frank Zappa

How can I lose? I've already offended everybody!

Frank Zappa

Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey's ass until he can't come anymore.

Frank Zappa

The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only 'good guys' in it, or eating cottage cheese.

Frank Zappa

Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.

Frank Zappa

While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.

Frank Zappa

This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it.

Frank Zappa

If you are home, and you got no place to go, and you want to, just blow yourself up ... Go ahead ... The drugs themselves ... There's a price for doing stuff to yourself.

Frank Zappa

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe!

Frank Zappa

I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.

Frank Zappa

It's raw, unbridled superstition for these people to claim that words can harm you.

Frank Zappa

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality. Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought, and the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC and the major labels consummate this nasty bargain.

Frank Zappa

If you pick up a guitar and it says, 'take me, I'm yours,' then that's the one for you

Frank Zappa

Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too.

Frank Zappa

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.

Frank Zappa

When they dumped all these people out of the insane asylums they didn't all go sleep in the street. Some of them moved into suburbia, and started writing postcards to the FCC.

Frank Zappa
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