Frank Zappa Quotes

Organized religions by their very natures are misleading.

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

In order to deviate successfully, one has to have at least a passing acquaintance with whatever norm one expects to deviate from.

Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.

Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned--I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.

I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that "we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.

I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.

The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.

No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.

Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.

lf you’re going to deal with reality, you’re going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don’t, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don’t expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it’s going to take care of everything for you.

Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?

There isn't anything weird about my music.

She use to knock me out until her face broke out.

I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed.

Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great.

Hendrix is one of the most revolutionary figures in today's pop culture, musically and sociologically.

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.

I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance.

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.

Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I'll love you, too.

I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.

I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don't, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.

Decades of indoctrination, manipulation, censorship and KGB excursions haven't altered this fact: People want a piece of their own little Something-or-Other, and, if they don't get it, have a tendency to initiate counterrevolution.

Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

People will always have the desire to make rock and roll records, and they'll always have the desire to sell rock and roll records. Most of the people making these records do it because it is a business, and if someone says, "You can't do this", they won't complain. They'll just keep making records, but they'll get blander and blander. There'll still be rock and roll, but compared to what it really could be or ought to be, I don't think it'll be all that terrific.

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on.

A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia.

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.

Hey, let's get serious... God knows what he's doin' He wrote this book here And the book says: 'He made us all to be just like Him', So... If we're dumb... Then God is dumb... (And maybe even a little ugly on the side)

Drugs will turn you into your parents.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST.

I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.

You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious.

My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

Let’s be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on the face of the earth. That’s why I like it . . . The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar: now that’s my idea of a good time.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Politics Is the Entertainment Branch of Industry. C-SPAN's coverage of governmental proceedings is wonderful. Caution! Buffoons on the Hill! Wallowing in blabber and spew, regiments of ex-lawyers and used-car salesmen attempt to distract us from the naughty little surprises served up by deregulated corporate America.