John Cleese Quotes

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Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.

John Cleese

My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.

John Cleese

On movies, I like to involve the cast in the writing of the script. I like to have a rehearsal period, after which I do the last draft, which gives me a chance to incorporate anything the actors have come up with during the rehearsal period, so I'm very inclusive as a writer.

John Cleese

Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it.

John Cleese

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

John Cleese

When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.

John Cleese

When you've only got few days of rehearsal before you're in the studio, it's wonderful to start off with people that you have good, friendly, tolerable relationships to start with, for the simple reason that you don't have to spend 24 hours figuring out how sensitive they are, and can you give them a line reading, or how do you have to give them direction.

John Cleese

I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.

John Cleese

Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.

John Cleese

You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.

John Cleese

How to defend yourself against a banana

John Cleese

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

John Cleese

The World is insane. With tiny spots of sanity, here and there... Not the other way around!

John Cleese

I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.

John Cleese

I don't want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like.

John Cleese

I would say that I began with a very edgy, very driven personality and after a sufficient amount of therapy over many, many years, I managed to become rather relaxed and happy.

John Cleese

Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake.

John Cleese

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

John Cleese

Laughter is a force for democracy.

John Cleese

Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.

John Cleese

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

John Cleese

I think there are so many activities going on, like mountaineering. You know, you would pay good money not to have to do that, and yet there are people racing out who want to spend their spare time clambering up rocks.

John Cleese

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.

John Cleese

I've always found life quite difficult to explain to people or to myself.

John Cleese

I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, "We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth," but it doesn't feel English.

John Cleese

Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.

John Cleese

And now for something completely different...

John Cleese

For those wondering how to deal with anxiety and depression, the first thing to consider is what you're putting into your mouth.

John Cleese

...when you collaborate with someone else on something creative, you get to places that you would never get to on your own. The way an idea builds as it careens back and forth between good writers is so unpredictable. Sometimes it depends on people misunderstanding each other, and that's why I don't think there's any such thing as a mistake in the creative process. You never know where it might lead.

John Cleese

The trouble with the British is that they are not interested in ideas. If Jesus came back today and offered to speak for an hour on British television, they would say, "What! Another talking head?

John Cleese

I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.

John Cleese

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.

John Cleese

This is the most important joke I've ever heard. Niels Bohr, the founder of Quantum Physics, had a friend to dinner. As the friend left, he noticed a horseshoe nailed above Bohr's front door. He said to Bohr, accusingly, "Niels, you're a great scientist. You can't believe in superstitions." Bohr answered, "I don't, but apparently it works anyway."As with confirmation bias, we tend to lean toward superstitions that benefit us.

John Cleese

When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.

John Cleese

I think we're all born with a sense of humor. Creativity is another thing though.

John Cleese

I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are.

John Cleese

Would you take a billion dollars, if as part of the deal the Earth were made uninhabitable a year after your death? ... well, of course not; you care about your friends, above all your children, any grandchildren. But ... what if the deal calls for the planet to be poisoned a thousand years later? We feel strong obligations to generations in the near future - should we not feel the same way about our children's great-grandchildren and generations beyond them?

John Cleese

In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both.

John Cleese

Laughter destroys any divisions between people.

John Cleese

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

John Cleese

I can do anything I want, I'm eccentric!

John Cleese

Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.

John Cleese

Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.

John Cleese

The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

John Cleese

The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.

John Cleese

There's nothing good on the television; let's burn a witch. It must have been terribly exciting to live in those times.

John Cleese

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!

John Cleese

Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?

John Cleese
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