Josh Billings Quotes

Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly as it does in the glass of a thermometer.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but invigorating, if you pitch into them.

Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

People travel to learn; most of them before they start should learn to travel.

Fuss is half-sister to hurry, and neither of them can do anything without getting in their own way.

Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.

Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed; the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.

Experience makes more timid men than it does wise ones.

Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.

Ill-nature is a sort of running sore of the disposition.

Virtue does not consist in the absence of the passions, but in the control of them.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess.

It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.

Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.

Despatch is taking time by the ears; hurry is taking it by the end of the tail.

Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom; but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

The less we know the more we suspect

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Most men had rather say a smart thing than do a good one. John P. Kotter, Leading Change.

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

The hardest thing any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it's slippery, and get up and praise the Lord.

And now the lads and lasses, following the example of the birds, bill and coo together.

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.

Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

Truth is the edict of God.

Perseverance is king.

Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.

What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.

The morning paper is just as necessary for an American as dew is to the grass.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

The soul has more diseases than the body.

If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.

Clothes form the intellect of the dandy.

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer.