Bill Watterson Quotes

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!

If you've got more ambiguous characters or stock stereotypes, the plastic comes through and they don't work as well.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.

Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

MOMMMM, I'm thirsty... What's this, just water?

I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Why does man create? Is it man's purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thought, and to discover meaning in experience? Or is it just something to do when he's bored?

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?

HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

I've never sat down to quantify how many hours I actually spend on the strip. I use the deadlines to estimate my progress; each month I know that I have to produce so many strips, and by the end of the month I'll make sure that I have.

Too often cartoonists just look at other cartoonists and, after a lot of inbreeding, everyone has the same funny look. The challenge of drawing is that there is no one right way to visually describe something. It's a good thing to confront your limitations and preconceptions every so often.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?

At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.

I'M SIGNIFICANT!!! ... Say's the dust speck.

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?

CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Cleveland is a really hard place, it's a very creative place, it feeds you creatively, but it's a very hard place to make a living creatively.

I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this? Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin

Once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

I'm willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine.