Al Yankovic Quotes

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go "Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'"

In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most "serious" acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.

There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall.

In the '80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear - that if I didn't, people would soon forget about me.

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world - even shows that haven't been on the air for a very long time, that's going to be harder to pull off.

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

It's hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on.

I don't watch a lot of other people's parodies because I don't want to be unduly influenced.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it'll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you'll actually find yourself thinking, 'I don't want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to 'The Flintstones'?'

My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.

I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.

I was able to come up with a couple articles for the magazine, I was able to solicit help from a bunch of my friends to contribute pieces: Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, Emo Phillips, Chris Hardwick, John Hodgman, and more. It's very much a "Weird Al" themed issue, so I'd like to think that there's a lot of "Weird Al" flavor throughout but I think it'd be generous really to call me an editor.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

I'm known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.

I can't say enough good things about my band. I feel very fortunate that I found them when I did, very early in my career. Not only are they just great, nice guys; they're some of the best musicians you're likely to find. They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It's amazing.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.

So I'm one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on 'The Simpsons,' which I'm very flattered by.

I've always enjoyed animation and voiceover work. That's something that I've been proactive about.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

I've always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it! Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I'd just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes.

Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.

My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.

I'm free to do what I please, I'm probably not going to do albums. Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

I'm watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits - and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

A lot of rap songs don't usually have a lot of melody per se.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.

Not any specific one, but I was a huge fan of Frank Jacobs, I guess he wrote the plurality of the song parodies for MAD, Sam Hart, a few others, but that was also where I was first exposed to the art form of song parodies.