Al Yankovic Quotes

In the '80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV. Now with internet culture it seems like everyone is doing music parodies. And they're not all good!

I have a long-standing history of respecting artists' wishes.

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, "Yes, of course they have, they've thought of it!"

I've done a movie and a TV series, and someday I'd like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.

I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.

I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it's very difficult to figure out where I fit.

As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

My wife went off with Elvis.

Pop culture's gotten much more disposable.

It was difficult to get into my friends' rock bands when I was a teenager. They somehow didn't see the need for an accordion player. That's when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

I'm obviously not a rapper, and I don't have any claims to be one, really.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

I like to think that I've gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it's stayed the same.

I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that's more my personal taste.

Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

I don't watch anything on a regular basis - I tend to binge-watch things.

I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

My own personal tastes don't really have an effect on whether song is a parody target or not. But having said that, I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I'm working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life. So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.

The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.

How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?

I'm very analytical, I'm very precise.

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.

There aren't that many superstars around anymore.