Matt Groening Quotes

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know.

Homer no function beer well without.

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

'The Simpsons' was about children and married parents; 'Futurama' is about people in between; they're growing up and haven't settled down. Every other cartoon show seemed to be, you know, dumb dad, bratty kids.

NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.

Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.

I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,' what I'm trying to do in the guise of light entertainment, if this is possible - is nudge people, jostle them a little, wake them up to some of the ways in which we're being manipulated and exploited.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

Nihilism in American comedy came along way before 'The Simpsons.' There was a fairly nihilistic point of view to 'Saturday Night Live,' for instance, back in the beginning, and a lot of really dark comedy had a really anti-sentimental take on life.

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.

The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat.

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.

Think beer; drink beer.

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.

I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows?

Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor.

Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day.

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.

I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They realized the show's really funny, it's got a heart, so I think it's pretty safe.

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.

'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

I want it to go on, but I want us to go out on top.

I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them off a cliff. What did the pigs do? I could never figure that out. It just seemed very un-Christian. Technically, I'm an agnostic, but I definitely believe in hell -- especially after watching the fall TV schedule.

My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.

On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task.