Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

Elegimos aquellos que nos gusta, con los que amamos, no tenemos voz en el asunto.

God is less careful than General Motors, for He floods the world with factory rejects.

Money is much more exciting than anything it buys.

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch.

Every American child should grow up knowing a second language, preferably English.

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.

Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.

Neurotic quarrels always have the same theme-song: Hate me and get it over with.

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat.

What you can't get out of, get into wholeheartedly.

Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note.

With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.

The first two days of a vacation are endless; then it flies.

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

When a man falls in love, he wants to go to bed. When a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it.

As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.

If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?

A new wound makes all the old ones ache again.

We are irritated by rascals, intolerant of fools, and prepared to love the rest. But where are they?

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.

As we grow older, our capacity for enjoyment shrinks, but not our appetite for it.

Despair is anger with no place to go.

A good executive is one who makes people contentedly settle for less than they meant to get, in return for more than they meant to give.

Whenever we safely land in a plane, we promise God a little something.

It does not undo harm to acknowledge that we have done it; but it undoes us not to acknowledge it.

We are like people with short-term leases on summer cottages; we can never seem to make our provisions come out even with our stay.

Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right.

When the pressures really mount, the neurotic must choose: Shall he have a good cry, or set fire to his neighbor's house?

Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people's orchards.

We sometimes feel that we have been really understood, but it was always long ago, by someone now dead.

In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one.

Spiritual sloth, or acedia, was known as The Sin of the Middle Ages. It's the sin of my middle age, too.

Minor vices lead to major ones, but minor virtues stay put.

A woman will do anything to keep a pretty figure, but hardly anything to get one.

Each day, the American housewife turns toward television as toward a lover. She feels guilty about it, and well she might, for he's covered with warts and is only after her money.

The best work is done with the heart breaking, or overflowing.

A woman's mink coat represents the sacrifice of a lot of little animals, including her husband.

Always live up to your standards — by lowering them, if necessary.

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what's missing.

Don't fool yourself that important things can be put off till tomorrow; they can be put off forever, or not at all

A doctor recently described to me "benign positional vertigo": it means you get dizzy in certain positions, but you can get over it without necessarily changing the position. Change "vertigo" to "anxiety," and you've summed up the neurotic's plight.

What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.

The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.

Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom.

Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable.

The trouble with women is men; the trouble with men, men.